From The Start
by keepfabandgayon
Summary: Relationships are messy and teenagers are confusing. Love is hard enough without the added stress of being gay. Kurt tries to make sense of all of this, but maybe it's better if it doesn't make sense. Spoilers up to 'Original Song.' K/D, S/B, R/Q (will not be updating further, sorry.)
1. Chapter 1

Blaine loved Kurt. It was obvious, not because of the consistency with which Blaine told him, but because of the way he said it, all tenderness and openness and that special little sparkle in his eyes when he said it.

It was also obvious that Blaine was bored.

That sparkle was only there when accompanied by an "I love you." The tenderness was either preceded or followed by annoyance. The openness they'd always had seemed far gone.

The Warblers were picking up on it too. Kurt hadn't seen them nearly as much since returning to McKinley, but what he had seen of them had bothered him. _They_ were all picking up on it, too. They knew Blaine was bored with Kurt. Wes in particular seemed very tuned-in to what was going on; he would give progressively more pitying looks to Kurt every time he looked at him, and having hushed conversations with Blaine that they didn't think Kurt would overhear.

"If you're not going to go into this wholeheartedly, then break it off. You're hurting him."

"I love him!"

"I don't doubt that. But you're not interested because there's no conflict. You don't have to chase him. It's always been about chasing something for you. Chasing goals, chasing dreams, chasing solos, chasing boys. You never cared about the result. Once you got something you took it for granted. You always have. Don't argue, you know it's true."

"I'm not going to break up with him for that."

"So you're going to continue hurting him?"

"I'm not trying to hurt him."

"But you _are_ hurting him. Kurt loves you, and no matter how much you say you love him back it isn't the same. He loves you with his whole heart, and you're not doing the same."

"I can fake it."

"No, you can't. You can't fake love, even if you're only faking part of it. You've been trying to for a while now and it isn't working. He knows, Blaine."

"I don't want this to be over. I really care about him."

"It's been over."

A sigh. "I don't know if I can do it. I don't want to."

000

It was inevitable that they would break up, really. In the end, Kurt did it. He ripped off the band-aid before it got too attached, just over a week after leaving Dalton.

"I love you, Blaine, and I know you love me, too, but this isn't working out. I'm sorry."

They managed a rare feat; they stayed friends. It was strained, of course - after having dragged out a failing relationship far longer than necessary, it was to be expected - but better than anything they could have hoped for.

000

"So you and Blaine broke up," Mercedes stated, handing him his coffee.

Kurt sipped at it, burning his lips slightly before holding it out at arm's length. "Mm-hmm." He held his free hand up to his lips. "Ow."

"…You alright?"

"Oh, yes, it's just a little burn-"

"No, I mean-" Mercedes sighed. "I mean about Blaine."

"Oh. Well, I'm okay. I could see it coming, really. He was bored. I tried to keep us together, but… Eventually it just wasn't worth it anymore." He shrugged and placed his coffee down gently on the table. "Honestly, we were doomed from the start."

Mercedes sat down across from him. "You sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely." He grinned. "We're even still friends. I guess I'm just glad it's finally over. Now I can move on to bigger and better things."

As he looked out at the street, a red letter jacket caught his eye.

Dave Karofsky.

_Of course._

000

When Blaine was found passed out drunk the night after their breakup by his roommate, Kurt had turned right back around from his drive home, and he had stayed with Blaine until he woke up the next morning, head about to split open in pain.

When Kurt found out that Blaine had spent the next week whoring himself to every bicurious Dalton student who asked, he hadn't shied away from him, despite that Blaine constantly smelled like things Kurt didn't want to think about quite yet. Kurt helped him regain some of the self-respect he'd lost, and then gave him a good smack in the head when he'd recovered enough that he could take it.

But Kurt didn't trust him with everything like he had before. It wasn't really because they broke up. It was because they were at different schools. They didn't see each other every day like they had when Kurt had gone to Dalton, and Kurt had all his old friends around him in Glee, friends who had diverse enough experiences that he didn't feel he needed to go to Blaine. As for the gay thing, he decided he didn't need any advice about that after all. He was comfortable with who he was. Shouldn't he be passing that on, instead of pretending he needed help with it?

And pass it on he did.

He found Santana in the choir room during lunch, when he went looking for Mr. Schue to suggest a song for the upcoming bullying assembly. She was just sitting there, staring at the whiteboard, as if there was something incredibly interesting hidden in the stains left there by the markers. When she saw him, she put her head in her hands and started to shake.

That was the first time Kurt ever successfully helped someone accept their sexual orientation.

He wondered why that was. Hadn't he come back to McKinley because Karofsky had calmed down enough that Kurt thought he might be able to help _him_?

But he didn't question it. Karofsky hadn't come near him since he transferred back. Quite literally, in fact; whenever the former bully saw Kurt, he immediately turned around and went back the way he came. Kurt asked around, but there didn't seem to be any sort of restraining order set up by the school. Puck _had_ threatened Karofsky with bodily harm (specifically, the forceful and painful removal of his external reproductive organs), but if Puck's retelling of the story was to be trusted, Karofsky had just said "I know" and left.

So, it was just Dave Karofsky keeping his distance. Kurt could appreciate that.

Besides, Kurt was busy. He was busy setting up the harmonies for their nearly-a-cappella rendition of "Born This Way"; busy being convinced by his Glee peers that he was, in fact, the very definition of sexy (Puck had said "I mean, if I were into dudes…" and didn't even have to finish the sentence before the rest of the guys agreed with him); busy trying to learn the dance moves that Mike was convinced he could pull off; busy getting into the swing of not having to study his ass off to maintain his grades; busy keeping his texts to Blaine personal enough to keep the boy sane but not so personal as to let him back in as far as he'd been before.

And then, a week before the assembly, Dave Karofsky showed up to Glee practice.


	2. Chapter 2

"Thanks for this."

"For what?"

Kurt tilted his head up slightly, then winced at the shift in blood flow in his head. He was in the choir room, laying across two chairs, and had his upper body hanging off the edge of one, head an inch from the floor. Santana was sitting cross legged behind him, and on the first platform, looking down at him. He'd picked up this position about an hour into the first of their _talks_. Santana had a habit of looking down when she was talking about her emotions, so he'd forced her to sit above and behind him. Usually he sat up straight and faced her, but he'd decided to do something new with his hair. He'd soaked it in the bathroom and was trying to make it dry straight up. Couldn't hurt to try.

"For talking to me," Santana answered. "Don't know how you can put up with my crap." She straightened out her clothes slightly. There were still some Slushee stains on her shirt from when Karofsky had thrown one in her face earlier.

Kurt shrugged, then flapped his arms around wildly when he overbalanced. He sat up, wincing at the blood rapidly flowing out of his head. "It's really not a problem. We have a lot in common. Besides the gay thing, I mean. We can both be bitchy and mean when we want to, we both used to be Cheerios, we're both _very_ good looking-"

Santana laughed. "And _so_ humble…"

"Well, I was going to mention our conceitedness next." He chuckled. "What I'm trying to say is, now that I know what's going on with you, I… I guess I _get_ you."

The classroom door opened and in walked Mr. Schuester with his binder of Glee ideas tucked under his arm, ready for their five-to-seven Friday rehearsal. He nodded to them and smiled. This wasn't the first time he'd walked in on one of their conversations, and he didn't pretend not to know what they were about - but he also had the grace to not say anything, which they appreciated.

Kurt pulled out his compact mirror and inspected his hair; it had, in fact, dried straight up, and it looked… pretty good for not having any hairspray. He shrugged and put the mirror away as Rachel and Mercedes came in, sitting down on either side of him.

000

Forty-five minutes later, Kurt's hair was flopping down lifelessly, dampened with sweat from the choreography they'd been practicing. He had long since abandoned most of his outer layers - scarf, jacket, gloves, bow tie, and boots abandoned on a chair in the front row of the theater seats, next to the girls' accessories and extra layers - and was running around in tight pants and a loose dress shirt. He was considering losing the shirt as well. Couldn't anyone fix the damn AC? The auditorium was probably the only place in the school that needed it, what with the too-bright lights heating up the black stage and the students on it.

"All right, break time!" Mr. Schue called out from the orchestra pit. "Get some water, stretch, but don't sit down or you know you won't want to get back up."

Kurt ran stage-right and turned on the giant, ever-present fan. He stood in front of it and spread his arms out, shivering slightly at the feel of cold air on wet skin. He was joined by Finn, who handed him a bottle of water. Most of the other guys (Finn included) had, in fact, gone shirtless already. Kurt had a bit more decency than that, but didn't comment - the choreography was difficult, the stage was hot, and he was getting a _very_ nice view.

"Nice job. Wasn't sure you still had it in you after swaying in the background with those Warblers for so long."

"Had _what _in me? Singing? Sweetie, that's not going away."

"No, I mean the dancing. You're still great."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at his stepbrother. "Coming from you that's not much of a compliment."

Finn turned red. "You know what I mean."

"Not really." Kurt shrugged and opened the bottle. "I'm not that great of a dancer."

"…You crazy or something? You're awesome!"

"Hmm."

Finn made some sort of irritated noise, then grabbed Puck (also shirtless) as he walked by. "Isn't Kurt an awesome dancer?"

Puck looked startled, then confused, then pensive. "Yeah. Yeah, totally. Probably the best dancer of all us guys."

"Hey! I'm right here!" Mike apparently overheard him.

"Shut up, man!" Puck yelled at him, then turned back to Kurt. "I mean, if I were into dudes, I'd say you're sexy."

Mike came over, his own shirt draped loosely over his shoulders. "Seconding that. But don't tell Tina, she'll probably freak out and make me read some of that weird stuff she finds on the internet." He grimaced.

"See? I told you!" Finn looked proud of himself.

Kurt looked up questioningly at him. "You realize that the only point you've proven is that I cause straight boys to become slightly bicurious, don't you? Because all I got out of that is that all three of you seem to think I'm sexy and are perfectly fine with admitting that to me."

"Well, you kinda are, so…" Finn's face twisted into something unreadable.

Kurt laughed. "No, I'm not. I appreciate it, but I know better than that. I have about as much sex appeal as a baby penguin."

"I didn't realize baby penguins were so sexy," Lauren said, coming over and draping an arm around Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt flushed and ducked away. He still wasn't used to her comments. "I think we should get back to practicing." He turned toward the stage, and then stopped short.

Everyone was staring at stage-left, where Principal Figgins was dragging a very pissed-off Karofsky onto the stage. "It has come to my attention that this young boy has been throwing frozen beverages into the faces of your students. Is this true?"

A unanimous "YES" sounded from the mouths of the Gleeks.

"As his punishment, I have decided he will be joining New Directions until further notice." He raised his voice as protests sounded. "Any complaints may be directed to Coach Beiste, who came up with the idea."

And that was that.

000

Well, almost. There was still the matter of an audition, which Karofsky was not at all prepared for and only slightly willing to do. They knew he could dance. They knew he could speak loudly and somewhat melodically in the background. They didn't know if he could sing. Not that it mattered; they _could_ just have him dance, but Karofsky had accidentally blurted out that he could sing and was then told to pick a song and go practice in the choir room for the next hour.

Kurt wasn't sure what to expect when he sat down in the audience, diet Coke in hand, looking up with a mostly-blank-yet-still-very-intimidating expression directed up at Karofsky, who stood nervously onstage, wringing his hands, eyes darting around the theater. Karofsky had been lucky, apparently; Brad knew the song well enough to create an impromptu piano accompaniment for his audition.

Kurt didn't expect anything amazing. He supposed it was a crappy thing to do but he didn't think that Karofsky could ever measure up to the quality of the voices in New Directions, because, well, it was _Karofsky_. Karofsky, who had tormented him and the other Gleeks for the very thing he was about to do; singing their hearts out.

He definitely didn't expect to hear Karofsky sing _his_ heart out. He expected some overplayed Top 40 from three years ago by some band that Kurt didn't listen to. He expected maybe _some_ evidence of being able to carry a tune.

He did not expect Karofsky to pick a song _from the heart_ and to sing it _with all his heart_.

He knew the song from the opening words; "_When you were here before/couldn't look you in the eye…_" It wasn't his usual taste in music, but it was one of those bands that Puck had recommended to Finn and Finn had liked enough to blast full-volume for an entire weekend.

And Karofsky was _killing it_. It might have even been _better_ than the original. If he hadn't been able to hear the emotion, he'd still have seen it written all over Karofsky's face. He looked like his heart was shattering into a million pieces; he looked so far from the bully who had assaulted Kurt daily.

The lyrics that hit him hardest were "_I wish I was special/you're so freaking special,_" because Karofsky's voice cracked for a moment on the second _special_, and it startled everyone; even Santana, who had been the only one still feigning disinterest, looked up wide-eyed at that.

But Karofsky plowed ahead like he had planned it.

Kurt couldn't pretend he didn't know who the song was about, not with Karofsky staring at him so openly. He assumed Karofsky either didn't notice he was staring, or didn't feel he needed to hide it since Kurt already knew that there was _something_ there.

Everyone was silent when Karofsky finished. Then, Finn began to clap very, very slowly, a shocked and slightly confused expression on his face that would not look any different from his usual face to the casual observer. One by one, the rest of the Gleeks joined in, and moments later, Karofsky was receiving his very first standing ovation.

00000

Music:

-"Creep" by Radiohead


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt and Dave (it was still a little weird to call him that) continued to mostly ignore each other unless absolutely necessary. In fact, Dave had only spoken to him once outside of Glee.

"So," Dave approached Kurt after his audition. "Um, I heard you and your boy… uh… broke up."

Kurt made a half-attentive noise of agreement.

"Well, is there anything I can do-"

"Why would there be _anything_ for you to do?" Kurt spat back at him. Even if Dave had nailed the audition and touched Kurt's heart with his sincerity, they still had a very unpleasant past that Kurt wouldn't be over any time soon.

"I don't know!" Dave shouted, then recoiled before continuing. "I just wanted to try and help you."

"Trust me, there's nothing you can do to help. Especially since I'm not even sad."

"What did he do?" He looked genuinely interested.

"Nothing. It was just falling apart." He hesitated a moment. "Why am I telling you this? Why are you even _asking_?"

Dave shrugged and left. Kurt thought he saw a little expression of fear as Dave turned away; a crinkle around his eyes, bottom lip between his teeth, brows drawn together.

He didn't press Dave, though. He already knew the answer. He'd known for a while. It was the third of four thoughts that had run through his head that day in the locker room - 1) _He just kissed me_, 2) _He's gay_, 3) _He __**likes**__ me_, and, when Dave moved towards him again, 4) _No! Not again._

Kurt guessed the avoidance was because Dave was afraid that someone would think they were _together_ or something, as crazy of an idea as that would be. Dave wanted it; that much was obvious. But Kurt would rather be John McCain's "escort" or Sarah Palin's "pool boy" than date Dave Karofsky.

And it wasn't like Dave was _out_ or anything. There weren't even _rumors_. No one seemed to know that Dave had even joined Glee.

They'd find out soon, though. Very soon. There were only days until the assembly. Mr. Schue emailed Kurt and Santana over the weekend to ask if they would be fine with Dave taking over some of their lines (Kurt agreed and then convinced Santana to do the same) and Mike and Brittany managed to get the whole thing re-choreographed by mid-week.

Kurt wondered if Mr. Schue was trying to call upon vaguely defined theatrical devices when he gave Dave the second verse; more specifically, the line "_A different lover is not a sin._" He pretended not to be shocked when Dave took the verse without protest; however, he didn't even attempt to hold back his surprise when, five minutes into learning the new choreography, Dave excused himself to the bathroom and didn't return for a quarter of an hour. At least Santana seemed to be getting a kick out of it.

Which brought on a whole new surprise - since when did _Santana_ know? Surely Dave didn't tell her. What reason would he have to? Yeah, there were rumors that she was bisexual - only half-true, and never acknowledged by Santana herself - but nothing to warrant Dave coming out to someone who was infamous as a ruiner of lives. Santana wouldn't do that anymore, but it wasn't like anyone _knew_ that.

The biggest shock came on Tuesday, when Dave and Santana showed up to school together - as in, _together_. Holding-hands-while-walking-down-the-hall together. Walking-each-other-to-class-and-kissing-goodbye together. Mouth-sex-in-the-halls-between-classes together.

Kurt could honestly say he had never seen anything so disturbing in his life. And he had seen _boobs. __**Twice**_**. **

He managed to catch Santana at her locker before lunch. He looked at her disapprovingly, and she scowled at him.

"I know what you're thinking and I don't care. I know about Dave. Neither of us is ready to come out yet." She closed her locker and started walking away.

He walked quickly to catch up with her, and whispered to her, "There's a difference between telling people you're gay and just not denying it. This isn't progress at all. This is the _opposite_ of progress."

Santana stopped, turning quickly to face him. "Who says I want progress?" She yelled. At Kurt's shocked expression, she sighed and whispered, "I'm taking a big risk with this, okay? We both are. We agreed that if someone finds out about one of us, we both have to come out. I'm doing this because I'm not ready to face people judging me yet. Not everyone is as strong as you, Kurt."

"I just wish you hadn't done this."

Santana shook her head. "Someday, Fancy, you'll get it."

Kurt stepped back. "Fancy?"

Santana looked confused for a moment, then sighed and said, "He calls you that. Dave. I guess I just picked it up. I get this weird feeling he's not comfortable saying your name or something. Or, like, talking about you at all."

Kurt wanted to respond, but was cut off by the warning bell - just as well, since he really didn't have any coherent thoughts at that point.

He spent most of English pondering Santana's words. Sure, he knew Karofsky - _**Dave**__, I should call him Dave now _- felt _something_ for him. Why else would he have _kissed_ him? But apparently this was more than just _something. _This was a capital S, bold-italic _**Something**_. And if Kurt was totally honest with himself, it scared the crap out of him.

He wasn't ready to deal with this yet. He had just broken up with Blaine; despite that there were no hard feelings, and they were getting more and more distant from each other, Kurt still wasn't over him. Maybe he even still _loved_ him. Kurt wasn't ready for someone else to love him.

And then there was the fact that it was _Dave Karofsky_. His tormentor for much of his high school experience could be in love with him, and probably had been for quite some time.

Kurt walked to his art class in a daze. The teacher was having one of her "creative days" (read: she was high as an airplane) and told them all to "create whatever has occupied your conscious mind for the last hour."

After going through thirty-something sheets of paper, twelve sharpies in varying shades of red, a pack of white pipe cleaners, and a quarter roll of duct tape, Kurt ended the class with a very large, ornate, three-dimensional red K, about three feet tall and surprisingly stable for the materials he had worked with.

When asked what it meant, he answered "Kurt, of course." What a lie - and didn't Mercedes know it. When she shot him a questioning look - no, questioning wasn't the right word, more like _who in the hell do you think you're kidding_ - he stopped her with a "Don't ask." She rolled her eyes and gave him another look that said very clearly _I don't know what you're up to but if it ends in you getting some then you better tell me before I find out on my own_, which, sure, he appreciated the concern, but he wouldn't be _getting any_ any time soon so it wasn't as if there was anything to talk about.

000

Music:

-"Born This Way" by Lady GaGa


	4. Chapter 4

"We need to switch." Santana said, out of the blue.

"Switch what?" Kurt sincerely hoped she wasn't talking about clothing; there were some outfits that even he couldn't pull off, and short-shorts and a strapless top definitely fell into that category.

Santana looked at him like he was crazy. "Our dancing parts. Why the hell am I even dancing with Dave? There's no point. You should do it."

"Uh, _no_. He'll _kill_ me."

"I doubt that. He agreed to the singing part-"

"Yes, but that's not _super-gay_. Singing about how gay is okay is just being an ally, but in meathead jock language, dancing with another guy makes you gay. He won't do it. No way."

"Then we'll surprise him." Santana pulled him up. "I'll teach you my part dancing with him, and you teach me whatever you're supposed to do when that happens. We'll find a way to switch during the song at the performance."

Kurt pulled his arm out of her grasp. "I thought you weren't trying to out each other."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get him used to the idea so that eventually he'll out himself."

"You're far kinder than I am."

Santana laughed. "You wish. I just get how he feels. You were_ always_ flaming-"

"I prefer 'flamboyant'."

"-so no one was surprised when you came out. We aren't that obvious, so we have to stick up for each other." She shrugged. "Just because I don't say anything about the rumors doesn't mean I'm ready to come out. I just don't care as long as all they have is have rumors. But he's even afraid of that."

"Then why did he join _Glee club_? If there were any reason for anyone to suspect he's gay, this is it."

"He didn't have a choice, remember? Figgins made him do it. Listen, they'll say things whether he dances with you or me, just because he's _there_. The least we can do is make it seem like he doesn't care." She grabbed his hand and pulled him into a twirl. His head hit her arm as he tried to go under it. "When did you get so tall? What did they feed you at Dalton?"

Kurt laughed. "Whatever it was, Blaine obviously didn't have enough of it." He sighed. "I guess I might as well do it. Teach me."

000

They had only two days to switch parts, and even with the extra hours they managed to put in, it still felt like a miracle when Thursday came and they felt completely ready.

They all went through the performance more times than any of them felt was necessary. Kurt and Santana did what the choreography laid out for them, planning to surprise everyone at the assembly.

The only thing Kurt was nervous about was the thirty seconds of Extreme Swing Dancing that would include Dave flipping Kurt over his back. It looked effortless with Santana, but Kurt was heavier than her and didn't think he'd take too well to being dropped on his head.

Oh, and Dave's reaction. Can't forget that.

000

"All right, now, just write down six numbers, your shirt size, and what you want your shirt to say and drop it in this box." Kurt held out a shoebox with a hole cut in the top. One by one, the Gleeks dropped little slips of paper into it. "Mercedes and I will be making them tonight and Finn will be handing them out tomorrow. No one gets to know whose shirt says what until the performance. Are we clear?"

Affirmations were mumbled as most of the students filed out. Finn and Mercedes waited next to Kurt, as he was their ride home. Mr. Schue hung around to talk to Brad and the band. Santana and Dave sat next to each other on the temporary steps set up on the stage, staring at their half-sheets, trying to figure out how to word their shirts.

Sanatana scribbled something down and stood suddenly, blowing a kiss to Dave for show. She folded her paper in half, fourths, eighths, and then messy sixteenths before slipping it into the box and giving Kurt a very poignant look.

Dave still sat there, looking lost without his beard. Kurt took pity on him and sat down next to him.

"Having trouble?"

"Hrm."

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip. "Well… Just pick something you've been made fun of for."

"I got _that._" Dave sighed. "I just don't know what to say about it."

"What hurt the most?"

"What?"

Kurt dropped his voice down to a whisper. "That I said to you. What hurt the most?"

Dave stared at him. Kurt dropped his eyes down to his hands, folded over his legs. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dave nod and scribble something down before dropping it in the box.

"See you guys," Dave mumbled. He grabbed his jacket and speed-walked out.

000

"What's the next one say?" Kurt cleared the screen and checked the new printout; perfect again.

"Uh…" Mercedes wiped at her sleepy eyes. The clock read 10:57. They'd been at this for nearly three hours, doing three shirts at a time. She grabbed the next slip of paper and read out, "Sweet lady kisses." She squinted at the little picture drawn on the side. _A sheep_?

_Puck, I'll guess. _Kurt typed it in and dragged the words around the screen. He printed it and cleared the screen again. "This should be the last one, right?"

"Mm-hmm. 'Not his type'."

"Sorry?"

"That's the last one. 'Not his type'. I guess someone's having relationship problems."

Kurt stared at the blank screen. Well, his suspicions were confirmed. He typed it in and printed it, then plugged the half-cooled iron back in.

Mercedes stood up. "I'm gonna go change, and then I'm going to sleep."

"All right." Kurt was suddenly very, very awake. "I'll be putting these in the boxes, so I'll be up in a half hour or so."

He ended up burning the last shirt and was very thankful that he had extras.

000

Kurt didn't sleep well that night. He was able to fall asleep easily at first, but he woke up multiple times and found it harder to get back to sleep each time, until, at four in the morning, he decided to just get up and spend some extra time getting rid of the dark circles that had surely already formed.

Mercedes got up two hours later and found him in the bathroom, wiping some sort of French skin cream off his face.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Sort of. I was thinking about the shirts. I didn't realize that doing this would be so hard. I know all these things that have hurt people and I think I know who some of them belong to and I can't stop thinking about it."

Mercedes put her arm around him. "Hey, it's fine. You were gonna find out all this sooner or later, anyways. Don't stress out about it. Now get dressed. I know you need plenty of time to get fabulous enough for school."

Kurt smiled at her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Seven-two-two-four-three-five?" Rachel stood up and Finn tossed her the box. "Uh… Jeez, Kurt, write _more_ like a girl… Five-eight-seven-eight-four-eight?" Dave's head snapped up and he caught the box one-handed, staring at it like it was going to hurt him. "Last one. One-two-three-four-five-six." Puck grabbed the last box and Finn turned and called Kurt and Mercedes in.

Mr. Schue started cleaning up the sheet music he'd been looking over. "Okay. I guess… go change and get to class. Remember, jackets on all day. No one sees the shirts until the show."

"Do we _have_ to wear them _all day_?" Dave asked, inching very close to whining.

"Yes," Mr. Schue answered. "The point of this lesson is to make our secrets tangible. We always have something to hide, and we're always afraid of people finding them. But now you have to hide it physically, not just metaphorically."

"But what if someone jumps us before the performance?" Puck asked. "They might try to get our jackets off and they'll see our shirts."

Mercedes raised an eyebrow at him. "Why would someone jump you just to see a shirt? Who even knows about this aside from us?"

"Guys! Not the point!" Mr. Schue put his hands up. "The point is, you're all going to wear the shirts and you have about five minutes to get to class."

000

The day went quite well, all things considered. Brittany nearly flashed her shirt when changing for P.E., but luckily Lauren was rushing out at the time and stopped her. At lunch, Rachel narrowly avoided getting her shirt ruined in a slushie shower by ducking behind a conveniently placed Principal Figgins. Sam had his jacket halfway off before the pothead in his Chemistry class pointed at the shirt and slurred out "Great band, maaaaaaaaan…"

It must have been some incredible stroke of good fortune that nothing worse had happened. Either that, or it was the calm before the storm.

The bell for the final period rang. The students were ushered into the theater minutes later by annoyed teachers unhappy with their loss of valuable class time. The half of New Directions that didn't come in until the second verse took seats inconspicuously and pretended to have nothing to do with the assembly. Dave even sat way up near the back with the rest of the team, risking not making it to stage on time for the sake of keeping everyone in the dark about the performance.

Figgins came up to the microphone, making his usual incredibly awkward opening announcements.

"…And will Nicole Crowther please report to the main office? Your car has been… er… damaged."

A familiar-looking girl walked out calmly, shouting, "Whatever! I didn't even _like_ that car anymore!"

"Now to introduce today's speaker, our very own William Schuester."

Mr. Schue took the mic and just stood there for several minutes until the entire theater went silent. He nodded, then began.

"Everyone close your eyes." He waited a few moments before continuing. "Raise your hand if you've ever been told that something was wrong with you." A few hands shot up, and, slowly, almost the entire student body raised their hands. "Open your eyes." They did so, then looked around quickly. The hands slowly went down.

Mr. Shcue nodded again. "I don't think I need to say anything more." He left the stage, taking the microphone and stand with him.

Then the curtains went up.

Artie said the opening words, rolling across the stage before coming to a stop and opening his jacket to reveal _Four Eyes_. Mike, standing front-and-center, turned to face the crowd and unzipped his own jacket - _Can't Sing_ - and started his improvised dancing part. Kurt started unbuttoning his jacket and turned around, starting to sing. He pulled off the jacket while he walked down the stairs - _Likes Boys_ on his shirt, of course - and tossed it to the side (the dry cleaners were definitely going to have some extra work to do this week).

Kurt ignored the loud laughter from the back of the theater at the line about putting makeup on, because, really, _why should I even give a damn?_ Finn (_Can't Dance_) and Brittany (_I'm With Stoopid_, with an arrow pointing up) came down the steps after him, and Puck, Sam, Lauren, and Tina (_I'm With Stoopid_ and an arrow pointing down, _Trouty Mouth, Bad Ass, _and _Brown Eyes_) spun on the spot.

Mercedes (_No My Weave!_) and Santana (_Sweet Lady Kisses_, so that's whose it was…) came up the side stairs just before the chorus started, tossing their jackets out to the audience. Mercedes sang the chorus, backed up by Santana.

Dave gripped the arms of his seat on the first "_Don't be a drag, just be a queen_" and pushed himself up, switching on his microphone.

Azimio smacked his arm and said, "I'm with you, man, this is way too gay for me." He started to get up, but stopped when a spotlight moved to Dave. "What the hell-?"

Dave sang without really thinking about it, walking up the center aisle towards the stage - or, more specifically, towards Kurt. He didn't see the shocked faces of his fellow students as he passed them, or Quinn and Rachel (_Lucy Caboosey_ and _Bossy & Nosy_) in the right and left aisles.

He _did_ notice that Kurt was on the wrong side of the stage, and his eyes found Santana on the opposite side. He knew instantly what it meant, and he couldn't say he was surprised. _There will be hell to pay if this goes badly_, he thought, before jumping onstage just in time for Mercedes and Santana to jump back into the chorus.

He realized he was the only one with his jacket on, and nearly tripped - _no, no, no, no way am I going to take it off now, oh crap Kurt's looking at me like he's going to punch me what do I do_ -

He managed to catch his cue to run off into the wings before Artie started the next speaking part. Santana moved past Dave, smiling at him before going up to the top step while Artie wheeled off.

Kurt gave Dave a look from the opposite side of the stage - _don't screw this up now_ - and they moved in while Santana proclaimed acceptance from the highest point in the room.

Dave pulled off his jacket and shoved it into Finn's arms, and walked out.

_Don't look at the crowd, don't look at the crowd_- The mantra worked surprisingly well, given the practice he'd gotten from using it during hockey and football.

Their hands deliberately brushed as they passed each other. They meant it as a sort of _I'm here_; Dave promising he was ready to dance with Kurt, and Kurt promising to help him with the inevitable shitstorm that would follow. They turned to face each other and walked backwards. Kurt saw Rachel absolutely _beaming_ and wondered if she had made sense of Dave's shirt. He didn't doubt it.

_I'm on the right track-_

Kurt started running.

-_baby, I was born this way._

Dave picked him up at the waist, right on cue.

Kurt hadn't really practiced this part - Santana couldn't lift him high enough, despite the formidable strength she'd gained from months at the bottom of the pyramid - so he freaked out for a moment before landing like his ex-Cheerio reflexes told him to. He tried not to get caught up in the fact that Dave continued to lead him through the lifts and turns as if he weighed absolutely nothing, or that Dave was smiling and having fun with it and most certainly not angry and obviously not thinking about what 'the guys' would say. This proved difficult, except for when Dave tossed Kurt over his head, and Kurt's mind went completely blank in a moment of terror. His brain restarted just in time for him to land (again, perfectly) and move seamlessly into the end of the dance.

They ended the number just as the Lady herself had ended it at the Grammys, raising their clawed hands into the air.

The applause was late by a single heartbeat, but _tremendous_ once it started. Kurt beamed. He grabbed Santana's still-raised hand once the curtains closed and pulled her into a hug. "We did it! We did it!"

Santana patted his back. "Let's just hope the team decided to up and leave once Dave made it to the stage."

Kurt's heart sank. _Oh yeah. The team. Crap. _

000

Music:

-"Born This Way" by Lady GaGa


	6. Chapter 6

"_Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way-_" Kurt turned and pointed at the group behind him.

They all shouted together: "_Baby I was born this way!_"

Kurt was trying to drag out the fleeting moment of happiness. He knew there would be a run-in with a slushie waterfall in the near future, but that wasn't going to stop him from celebrating a performance well done.

He had almost forgotten about the impending doom when he walked backwards right into Azimio and got the first slushie facial before being pushed with more force than usual into the nearest wall. He thought he heard someone cry out his name, but couldn't be sure - he hit his head pretty hard.

He watched in a half-daze as a rainbow of sugary frozen drinks drenched his friends. The team walked away, unrepentant and unhindered as always.

"Well," Rachel began, shivering and pulling chunks of orange ice out of her hair, "at least they themed this one for the occasion."

Sam had already pulled off his shirt and was wringing it out over the floor. "Yeah, a gay tie-dye instead of the usual monochrome."

Finn let out a mostly-dry hand to Kurt and pulled him up, then supported him with an arm around his waist when Kurt started to sway.

"You okay?"

"Fine." Kurt turned around halfway, still holding Finn's arm for support. "Dave?"

Dave was wiping blue ice out of his eyes. "They always get me right in the face…" Kurt moved toward him, pulling Finn along, and put a hand on Dave's arm.

"It gets easier."

Dave let out a disbelieving half-laugh. "Really? It got harder for you."

"No." Kurt smiled. "It's easier now. Now don't cry."

"I'm not crying! It's the damn dye-"

"Only the green ones sting, and your eyes are red."

000

They went back to the choir room for their wrap-up, still covered in slushie, wearing the soupy, sugary mess like medals. Mr. Schue shut the doors for once.

"Your shirts all mean something to you. Some of yours are more obvious, and some… well, we have no idea what they mean. This week was about facing what you're afraid of, what you've been made fun of for, and what you're hiding, and being proud of it. But it was also meant to build some trust between all of you, which I think some of you have been lacking. So, I'd like you to explain what your shirts say about you, and why you picked those messages. You can take as long as you want, or you can be brief. Just let us know how you're feeling."

Rachel went first - no surprise.

"A lot of people think I like bossing people around and butting into their lives. They're wrong. I wish I didn't have to do it, but I do it without really noticing. I've gotten so used to people hating me that I'm very paranoid about people who _do_ like me. I want to have control over my life, so I control the people in it, too."

Tina went next.

"I was born with green eyes. I have pictures of myself as a baby, and my eyes were bright green. All my medical forms say my eyes were green at birth. I have no idea where they came from. Even my grandpa on my dad's side had brown eyes, and, well, he's where I got the 'Cohen' part of 'Cohen-Chang' from. My eyes turned dark brown by the time I was a year old. I always felt like I missed out on something special; being an Asian with green eyes. And I guess 'brown eyes' just sort of became what I called how I felt when I didn't feel special."

Mike and Finn stood up at the same time, looked at each other's shirts and went up together.

"I always feel like I'm missing out by not being able to sing like you guys can. I mean, I love dancing, but you're all singers and I'm just… not."

"I feel like I'm dragging you guys down by being so uncoordinated. You're always 'Finn-proofing' the dancing and I feel really bad about it."

Lauren went up with her hands in her pockets. "People make fun of me for being overweight. I can't help it that my badassery is too huge to fit into a skinny body." She shrugged and sat down nudging Quinn to go up next.

"Well, you all know I had a baby last year. I put her up for adoption because I didn't want that burden. I wasn't ready. I didn't think I could handle taking care of her, and I was right. I can barely handle people calling me a slut all the time. I made one mistake and now I'm paying for it every day."

Mercedes hugged her when she sat down, then stood up.

"I'm the only person in my family who's got a weave. The rest of them just have their natural hair. They give me crap for it all the time. One time, one of my cousins tried to pull it out, and I got in trouble for pushing her off. My hair's about the only thing my family holds against me. They say I'm fake because of it, but I'm about as real as it gets besides."

Sam followed her, still shaking dark purple juice out of his hair. "I'm really sensitive about how I look. This is nothing against you, Santana - I just picked this 'cause the song really kind of hurt. I know my mouth is weird, and everyone knows I dye my hair. I guess I care about my looks so much 'cause my personality is so nerdy. I don't even really like football that much." He shrugged. "I really just started playing it 'cause I'm good at it and I want to be popular. I don't really care about that anymore, so I don't really know why I'm still playing, but…" He shrugged again and sat down. Artie put a hand on his shoulder before wheeling himself in front of the group.

"Without my glasses I'm almost legally blind. It wasn't quite this bad when I was younger, but people would always take my glasses and break them and I wouldn't be able to see anything clearly. I've always been the nerdy kid with glasses, so it made me an easy target. No one felt bad making fun of me after the accident because making fun of me was nothing new."

Brittany went next. "The only thing that anyone ever makes fun of me for is that I'm kind of stupid. I know a lot about some things, but, like, school stuff… that's hard."

Puck went up and sat on the piano. "Mine's pretty simple… I'm always the cause of people's relationship problems. I'm trying to change that, but my dick just won't let me."

"Language!" Mr. Schue shouted.

"Penis," Puck responded casually, and hopped off the piano. He pointed at Kurt and gestured for him to go next.

"I don't really know what to say… I mean, obviously I've been bullied for being gay, but I'm proud of it; both that I'm gay and that I've survived the bullying. I picked this for my shirt because it's something that _other_ people are ashamed of. They don't want me to like boys and that's their problem, but they make it my problem because they want me to be ashamed of it. I'm not. I embrace it. I always have. All that's left is for me to help other people do the same."

Kurt sat down in front of Dave and Santana. They looked at each other, then down at their feet.

"Do you wanna-?" Santana began.

"No, no, you can-" Dave insisted.

"But do you want me to tell them?"

"Sure, sure." He didn't look so 'sure'.

"What's going on?" Sam asked.

"We're… not really dating," Santana responded.

"What's your point?" Puck asked.

Santana smoothed out her shirt, and Dave leaned back slightly, out of his previous slouched position.

Quinn, who was sitting on Santana's other side, seemed to pick up on it first, her mouth falling into an O shape. Slowly, it dawned on the rest of the Gleeks, until only Brittany was left still looking confused. Artie leaned over and whispered into her ear.

Brittany looked back at him, just as confused as before. "But I already knew that."

"About both of them?"

Brittany nodded.

"No one's telling anyone, _right_?" Santana glared at Rachel specifically.

"Why would I tell anyone? My dads have raised me much better than that."

"Oh, right. I forgot you're a gayby."

"Gayby?"

"Gay baby. Anyone raised by gay parents. Just 'cause I'm fresh out of Narnia doesn't mean I don't know the language."


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt grabbed Dave's arm and stopped him from leaving. "We need to talk." He dragged him out of the room and down the hall to the locker room. Kurt wanted to face his fears head-on; how much more head-on could he get than the place where he truly started to fear Dave?

Dave looked uncomfortable. His eyes darted around, drifting once to Kurt before settling on one of the lockers.

Kurt sat down on the bench and patted the space next to him. Dave sat down a few feet away, stepping over the bench to face the other direction.

"I want to talk to you about your shirt."

Dave started to stand up. Kurt reached over and stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Dave."

"I don't know, okay?" Dave yelled. "I don't know why I picked that. I don't know why it hurt and I don't know why any of this crap happened but it did."

"I'm not angry at you, Dave. Granted, I haven't forgiven you yet, but you can't expect that so soon. I just want to know if I'm right."

"Right about what?"

Kurt looked at the locker in front of him. He really wasn't ready for this.

"Kurt?"

Kurt stood up and walked around the bench, stopping in front of Dave, and licked his suddenly dry lips.

"Stop me," he demanded, even though he didn't expect Dave to do any such thing.

He put his hands on Dave's shoulders and leaned in close to him. He only got a few inches from Dave's face before Dave moved forward and did the absolute opposite of stopping him.

This kiss was far more pleasant than their previous one. Dave wasn't attacking Kurt's face with his mouth. Kurt wasn't terrified. They hadn't been yelling at each other. In fact, Kurt might go as far to say that, now that he could enjoy it, this might have been his best kiss ever and _thank you, Santana._

Dave pushed him away. Kurt tried to hide his disappointment.

"I thought you said you haven't forgiven me."

"I did. And it's still true."

"Then why'd you…"

Kurt shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. I think it was. Don't you?"

"Um."

"If no, leave. If yes, let's do that again."

000

They emerged, slightly dazed, about an hour later.

Kurt found he loved Dave's lips. He loved them most when they were attached to his own, but they actually spent most of that hour talking.

Little had changed; Kurt still hadn't forgiven Dave, and Dave hadn't spontaneously decided to run down the halls with a rainbow flag on his back. But at least they were talking. Sort of. In between random bursts of making out.

Kurt wondered briefly if this was how fuck-buddy relationships began, then promptly squashed that thought into the tightest, darkest corner of his mind because _absolutely not_. He was _so_ not going there, not with Dave or _anybody_.

000

"You have a hickey."

"What?" Kurt asked. He must have misheard.

Finn pointed and informed him once again, "You have a hickey."

Kurt clapped his hand over his neck. _Crap._ "That's not a hickey! Um, someone, uh, shot a rubber band at me? Yeah. It's just, uh, just a bruise."

Finn raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up." Kurt ran up to his room to grab a scarf before their parents came home.

"Was it Dave?" Finn shouted at him.

"None of your damn business!" Kurt replied, slamming the door. He ignored Finn's laughter as he wrapped the scarf around his neck. _Well, I guess I'll have one more week of winter…_

"You know," Finn said when Kurt finally came down, "I figured it out a long time ago. That he's gay, I mean. Way back before the big game, the one where we did Thriller. Realized he never seems to have a girlfriend. Pretty smart, huh?"

"Smarter than me." Kurt flopped down beside him and grabbed the remote before Finn could, flipping to the all-day musicals channel. "For once."

"Hey! I'm not dumb _all _the time."

"No, just most of the time. Now hush, _Phantom_ is on." Kurt leaned on Finn, effectively trapping him there. Finn didn't mind much; at least this one was in English, and was kinda cool in a this-is-pretty-creepy-for-a-musical kind of way. And Kurt was warm. Always a plus.

"You never answered my question, you know."

"What question?"

"Was it Dave? I need to know who to direct Puck and his ass-kicking to if you come home crying."

"I'm not _dating_ him or anything. I'm not going to come home crying."

"So it _was_ Dave?"

"…Shut up and watch the movie."

000

The second Kurt unwound his scarf the next day, Mercedes was on him.

"_Who was it?_"

"Who was what?"

"Who gave you _that_?" She pointed to the now very obvious mark on his neck.

"_Dammit_, I forgot about that." He tied the scarf back on. "Did anyone else see?" He looked around quickly; no one was staring, thank God.

"_Spill_. Now, or I will destroy all your clothes, much as it pains me to do so to such a fabulous collection."

"_Mercedes_…" Kurt very nearly whined.

"Was it Finn? You two live together, you _must_ have brought him out by now."

"I can't believe you still think he's bicurious."

"I can't believe you don't. Did Blaine try to win back your heart?"

"He's been less-than-subtly trying, but he has yet to succeed."

She gasped. "It wasn't Dave, was it?"

Kurt hummed and walked off.

"_Oh my God!_" Mercedes ran to catch up with him.

"Before you start: No, we're not dating, no, I'm not in love with him, and no, I don't plan for this to continue, though I wouldn't be opposed to that last idea. He's a _very_ good kisser; Santana's taught him well."

"_Oh. My. God._"

"Oh, and, no, I'm not just doing this because he's the other gay guy. I have… very specific reasons."

"You likey."

"I do not!"

"You do!" Mercedes sang.

"Do not!"

"Hey, Kurt." Dave said casually, waving as he walked by.

"Hi!" Kurt replied, rather loudly and breathlessly.

When he turned back round, Mercedes was laughing at him from behind one hand and pointing at him with the other.

Kurt's face turned red. "Shut up."

000

"I thought I wasn't your type." Dave leaned against the locker next to Kurt's, eyes darting around to scan for red letterman jackets. He could be in Glee, he could be tricked into dancing with another guy, he could sing about how it's okay to be gay, but a line would be drawn at going out of his way - and it really _was_ out of his way, his next class was on the other side of the school and he would probably be late - to actually _talk_ to the gay kid. Willingly.

_Shit._ "Um. I didn't think you were?" Kurt inwardly cursed at the squeak his voice made at the end; he hadn't meant to make that sound like a question.

Dave smiled somewhat proudly, turning away for a moment before looking back at Kurt. "Okay. So I'll just forget everything Finn told me about how you _totally_ have a thing for football players."

"I was angry when I said that, okay? You didn't exactly make yourself likable."

"I knew that. I just kind of felt like rubbing it in."

"You're not getting anywhere with forgiveness with an attitude like that, either. I hope you know that."

"I do." He shrugged, frowning again. "There's not really much I can do about your forgiveness. I mean, I apologized, and I'm trying to change."

"You're succeeding at that one."

"Huh?"

"You're willingly coming up to me and talking to me in a civil manner. You punched Strando when Coach Bieste wasn't looking because he insinuated, once again, that Finn and I are having sex. You've stopped faking a relationship with Santana. You danced with me in front of the whole school, and every time someone mentions it, you just tell them that you had no idea until the performance."

"Those are just the good things. You're ignoring all the crap I've still been doing."

"Jacob deserves every slushie you give him. Next someone's going to figure out what your shirt meant and you won't even bat an eyelash."

"Doesn't make it right. And trust me, if someone figures me out, I'll be batting more than just an eyelash."

Kurt closed his locker and hugged his books in front of him. "Your violence is just a mask. I bet you're really a giant teddy bear underneath."

"You would know."

"We're not talking about that." He turned around and walked away, giving thanks for small blessings that his class was actually in that direction.

He wondered if Dave was following him. He didn't look back to check.


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt wondered, once again, why the guys had decided it was a good idea to sing an a cappella rendition of "Take On Me," no matter how well it fit with that week's assignment, 'stretching your vocal capabilities.' He cringed from the opening words, instantly wondering with horror who would be singing the ridiculous high notes and how the hell he'd be able to do it.

His fears were realized as Puck began to sing the chorus. Rachel, next to Kurt, had her eyes squeezed tightly shut and held her hands inches from her ears, at an optimal distance for attempting to block out the noise should it get too painful for her apparently sensitive ears to handle. Mercedes stared at the spectacle in front of her with utter mortification. Tina had her mouth hanging open. Lauren held her head in her hands.

They were all surprised when Puck managed to hit the notes spot-on; however, they were not so shocked that they couldn't react. There were cheers and applause and a loud whistle from Santana. Lauren looked impressed as she clapped slowly.

The boys bowed in the cheesiest possible manner when they finished, amidst laughter and more applause from Kurt and the girls.

Mercedes leaned over and whispered to Kurt: "Was that a challenge, or just an invitation?" When he looked at her questioningly, she nodded at Dave, who had just sat down right in front of them.

Kurt waved her away, blushing. "Stop it!"

Mr. Schuester continued clapping as he made his way to the stage. "That was great! I guess you guys really took my assignment seriously."

"Course," Puck said, smirking. "That assignment was a challenge if I ever got one, and Noah Badass Puckerman does not pussy out of a challenge."

"Language, again."

"Cats."

Mr. Schue sighed. "Fair enough. We'll see what the girls and Kurt have planned tomorrow."

000

Honestly, they didn't have much of a plan. Or any plan at all.

An hour later, the girls were all gathered in the Hummel-Hudson living room, crowded around Kurt's iHome, all clutching various mp3 players. Pandora played quietly from Kurt's iPhone, which currently occupied the aforementioned iHome's dock, as he flipped through his dad's CDs. And tapes. And records.

_How are we supposed to stretch our voices? It's not as if any of us can go much higher than what we've used, and I've already used my low range once before…_ He moved on to the shelf that housed Finn's CDs, with only the artists that he loved enough to pay the extra five dollars for a case and booklet. Finn was quite fond of blasting them at full-volume when their parents weren't home, so Kurt knew at least the chorus to most of the songs.

He grabbed one he recognized, and turned it over to the back, scanning the titles until - _perfect_.

"Hey… girls? How do you feel about some My Chemical Romance?"

"We've done them before," Quinn sighed. "While you were away."

_Away_. As if he had just taken a vacation. As if they always knew he'd be back. Kurt's heart swelled with love for his friends.

"Was it from _The Black Parade_?"

"No, why?"

"Because it's a well-known fact that each MCR album is entirely different from the rest. Did you do something from _Danger Days_?"

"Yeah…"

"We're doing 'Famous Last Words.' No arguments."

000

"You realize this song is about suicide, right?"

"It's about _not_ attempting suicide."

"Still…"

"Not every song is going to be about butterflies and unicorns, Rachel."

"_Still_… Do we have to sing about suicide?"

"Now that you asked that, _yes_, we absolutely do."

000

"You're not going to dye your hair for this, are you?"

"Don't be absurd. I'll wear a wig."

"A white wig."

"Yes, look."

"…You _own_ one?"

"…One must always be prepared, no matter what fashion requires."

000

It went well for a last-minute song choice without much practice. Tina took lead on most of the song, except for the end. Kurt pulled out all the stops with putting emotion into his part, and sang the second half of the fadeout with tears streaming down his face.

It wouldn't be the first time he'd sung while crying.

He ended up on his knees, and was hit with a strong feeling of déjà-vu. A year ago he was up there singing 'Rose's Turn' to an empty audience, falling to the floor at the end in much the same manner.

This time, though, he wasn't alone.

He was surrounded by his friends; the girls onstage and the guys in the audience. His dad wasn't hiding in the wings; he was waiting at home, ready to hug Kurt when he returned from school, and then pull back so Kurt could see the endless love and pride in his father's eyes.

Kurt smiled softly and watched a tear drop to the black stage beneath him. He chanced a look out at the audience and choked back a half-sob, half-laugh; they all had tears in their eyes, and Puck was staring openly in awe.

Finn stood first, clapping slowly and loudly. Puck got up next, joining the applause with an expression that made it seem as if this applause was the single most noble thing he would ever do in his life. Soon everyone was on their feet, and Kurt felt someone slam into him and wrap their arms around him. The squealing in his ear betrayed that it was Rachel, just in time for him to be mobbed by the other girls.

"That was _incredible_!" Rachel whispered into his ear.

Kurt let out a short laugh, unsure of how to respond. The whole performance was a blur, only slightly because he had spent half the time fighting back tears.

No one had to know where those tears came from.

000

But of course Dave would approach Kurt the next morning.

Kurt panicked briefly when he noticed Dave heading straight for him in his mirror, because there were some things he was just _not_ ready to discuss, and making out with is former bully was one of those things.

"You were crying."

It took Kurt a moment to realize Dave was talking about "Famous Last Words." "Yes, David. Wonderful observation, that. It's a wonder you're not already a college graduate with that intellect."

"Why?"

"It's called sarcasm, Dave."

"No, I mean, why were you crying?"

Kurt sighed and shuffled through his books for something to do. "It's a sensitive issue for me."

"Suicide?"

"_Not _committing suicide is the subject of the song, but… yes."

"But… crying?"

"I know what you're thinking. And you're almost right."

"So… are _you_-?"

"No." Kurt grabbed his French book and closed his locker. "But I was."

"Is that how you got… that scar? On your neck."

'Yes. I tell everyone it was a surgery. In truth… I tried to kill myself a few weeks after my mom died. My dad found me with a knife to the back of my neck. If he hadn't come in, hadn't reminded me that I still have something - someone - to live for, even if it's just one person, I would have done it." He scrubbed at his burning eyes. "I was eight years old."

"Jesus."

Kurt nodded. "They say that in near-death situations, your life flashes before your eyes, and makes you regret whatever brought you to that point. My dad really is my life, ever since Mom died, so I guess it's true."

Dave picked up Kurt's hand, then let it go and grabbed his sleeve instead. "Come on." He pulled Kurt down the hall, into the empty team locker room. Once the door closed, he pulled Kurt into a hug.

"David…"

"You looked like you needed a hug," he explained. "I would have done that right then but…"

"I understand. Thank you."

Dave moved back and leaned against the wall of lockers. "I, um, I've never… _tried_, or anything like that, but I've thought about it, so I kinda… I don't wanna say I _understand_ or I _know how your feeling_ or whatever, 'cause I hate it when people say that, but… I get it, I guess."

"Promise me something?"

Dave looked him in the eye. "Anything." Kurt couldn't even pretend his heart didn't skip a beat at that.

"Don't ever try."

"You promise me the same thing and it's a deal."

Kurt smiled and nodded. "Deal." He held out his hand to shake on it, but as soon as Dave grabbed his hand, Kurt pulled his own back quickly, dragging his middle finger along Dave's palm.

Dave jerked his arm back and grabbed his hand. "What the _fuck_ was that?"

"Gay handshake. It's the only way to truly seal any promise between two gays."

"I feel kind of violated."

"That tends to happen your first time. But we have a deal here, right?"

"Yeah."


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine had sounded broken on the phone.

"_I haven't seen you in so long… __**Please**__, Kurt."_

It probably should have been a warning sign.

"Here's your coffee." Kurt handed him the cup - with the barista's phone number scribbled on it under her own name. Figures. Kurt had had the same happen to him about a year earlier. Blaine looked up at her and gave her the Queen's Wave, and she tipped her head back and mouthed_ not again_.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem. You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah… Can we walk?"

"Of course." Kurt followed him outside and down the sidewalk.

"I've been thinking."

Kurt chuckled. "About actually doing some of the homework you so _love_ to just toss around during songs?"

"Um, no."

"Cutting back on the walking on top of furniture?"

"No. I've been thinking about you."

"Oh, no." A feeling of dread washed over him.

Blaine stopped and turned to Kurt. "I miss you. I shouldn't have broken up with you-"

"If I remember correctly, _I_ broke up with _you_."

"Yes, but-"

"Which means I _don't_ want you back."

"Kurt…"

"_No_. I love you, Blaine- but as a _friend_. That's it. I'm sorry. I'm not going to become your boyfriend again just because Prince Blaine only wants what he can't have."

"What?"

"The first time, you only wanted me after you noticed I was starting to move on. This time, you want me because I'm completely over you and I _don't_ want you back. I'm not doing this, Blaine."

"Kurt, I love you-!"

"I'm sorry."

Blaine moved forward too fast for Kurt, pulling him in by the back of the neck into a kiss. Kurt's coffee slipped from his fingers and exploded on the street, all over his boots.

He put his hands between them, against Blaine's chest, and _pushed_.

"Don't _ever _do that again!" Kurt yelled, hating how his voice cracked on the _ever_.

"Kurt…" Blaine tried to move back in, but Kurt pushed him away again.

"No. _Less_ than no, now that you tried _that_. I know you're sad. I know you miss me. I know you want nothing more than to fix what you did and how you acted at the end. But I'm not going through the pain of falling for you and getting my heart broken all over again because _you_ have more mood swings that a pregnant woman with a PMS-ing sister at a family reunion."

"I know what happened with Karofsky," Blaine spat out.

"What?"

"I know you kissed him."

"Who told you that?"

"Doesn't matter. How could you?"

"How could I _what_? He's _changed_, Blaine. And it's not like I'm attached to you anymore. I'm single. I can do what I want."

"Don't give me that. He hurt you so many times. Or have you forgotten?"

"I haven't forgotten. I haven't even forgiven him. But that doesn't mean I can't be attracted to him."

"Do you love him?"

Kurt shook his head. "No. I like him; I don't love him. Not that it makes any difference." Kurt turned away. "Let me know when you've got your life together. I can't help you if you only want something of me that I can't give you, and I _certainly_ can't help you if you won't even listen to me."

He didn't look back, no matter how many times Blaine called after him.

000

Mercedes stroked Kurt's hair as he shook in her arms. The girls had convened in Rachel's still-horrifyingly-pink bedroom with the original intention to have a discussion of battle plans for their throwdown at the end of the week, but it turned into a giant "let's comfort Kurt" session after about twenty pleading texts from Blaine forced Kurt to explain what had happened.

"It's been a _month._ I don't love him anymore, but he can still make me cry like this. He still _does_ make me cry like this."

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me to cut him a vagina and use the leftovers to give him tits?" Santana asked from across the room. "I've been looking for a reason to mutilate some boy-parts."

"Why?" Rachel asked, somewhat horrified.

"It's, like, a rite of passage into the Forceful Bitchy Lesbian community to somehow make a douchebag unable to impregnate anything, whether or not he ever wants to."

"I'm pretty sure it's not-"

"Shut up."

Lauren suddenly yanked out her earbuds and stood. "I have an idea! Tubthumping!"

"That's what she said."

Kurt made a mildly disgusted face. "There is not a single person in this room I would want to do that with. No offense."

"The _song_! You know- _I get knocked down, but I get up again_…"

"_Oh_."

"Yeah. Now how do we dance to this?"

"We have four trampolines in my backyard," Brittany offered.

Santana gave her a confused look for a moment, then said, "That might actually be perfect."

"_Time to choreograph this bitch_," Lauren said.

000

Maybe it was partially an excuse to get Kurt back into his Cheerios uniform (that the girls assured him was the sexiest thing since sex, and that Coach Sylvester had never actually asked him to return for some reason) or maybe it really was all because they needed four people with high-flying tumbling experience and Mercedes and Rachel wanted to sing, but he soon found himself being submitted to Mercedes measuring him and lengthening the pants by a few inches before he was dragged down the street to Brittany's house and pushed onto his own trampoline. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany occupied the other three, each bouncing slightly in their own uniforms because Sue had refused to take back their "dirty traitor leftovers."

He somehow managed to learn all the steps Rachel tossed at them, even doing flips without breaking his neck on the springs. He was very thankful he wouldn't be singing this time because most of the words were impossible to remember, even though he'd heard the song millions of times before.

Lauren assured them it was her "jam," which was followed by a question about toast from Brittany and a demonstration of Lauren saying the words at hyper-speed before they agreed for her to take lead. Rachel took the high notes, and Mercedes and Tina did background drunk-sounding shouting.

They decided to end practice when the sun started to set. They all found that they were suddenly hungry and made their way into the house for whatever leftovers they could find in the Pierce refrigerator, which ended up consisting of one and a half pork chops, a wilting bowl of salad, and some reheated mac 'n' cheese and soup. Rachel and Tina started cutting up fruit, Mercedes broke out the popcorn popper, and Santana tossed some hot dogs onto the movie theatre style rolling cooker, and soon they were all curled up on the couches and floor while Brittany pulled out the blankets and Kurt went through the shelves of animated musicals. At this point, it would be another impromptu sleepover.

It was a wonder they ever got any homework done, considering the time they put into Glee and falling asleep in each other's homes. Thank God for study hall.

000

They settled on a marathon of the female empowerment children's movies, which meant _Beauty and the Beast_, _Mulan_, and _Shrek_ if they managed to stay awake through all three.

About ten minutes into the first movie, Rachel tossed an unpopped popcorn kernel at Kurt and said, "You're totally Belle."

"How do you figure that?"

"You care about your dad more than anyone else in the world, you have Blaine's unwanted attempts at getting you back interfering with your friendship, and of course there's _Dave_…" She dragged out Dave's name, and it was followed but giggles from the rest of the girls.

Kurt glared at her. "What about Dave?"

"He's _totally_ your Beast," Mercedes answered.

"Girls, I appreciate you caring so much about my love life, but it's not going to happen."

"He's crazy about you!"

"But I'm not crazy about him."

"Uh-huh."

"I admit I find him attractive. But that's it."

"Place your bets," Santana said, snickering.

Lauren: "Two weeks."

Tina: "A week."

Quinn: "A month."

Mercedes: "Prom."

Rachel was very specific: "They'll unleash their sexual frustration on each other in the bathroom at Nationals right before we have to perform, and they'll go onstage with their clothes still wrinkled."

Kurt buried his head in his pillow.

"Oh, it's all in good fun," Mercedes said, putting an arm around him.

"I, for one, wouldn't give a damn about your love life if I had one right now," Santana said, probably trying to be reassuring. She ignored Brittany's sympathetic look.

Kurt sighed and focused on the movie.

He'd never be able to see the Beast the same way again.

000

When Dave stormed into the before-school Glee meeting on Monday holding a rose, Kurt immediately denied any and all responsibility for putting it in his locker. "Ask Quinn. I hear she's pretty handy with a nail file."

"You know _why_ this happened, though, don't you?"

"Possibly. It's nothing that you need to be concerned with."

"One of your friends broke into my locker. _I think I have a reason to be concerned._"

"It's just a little joke."

"Okay. Then tell me."

"Um."

"You know I'll just assume it's worse than it really is."

"It's pretty bad."

"Try me."

Kurt sighed. "The girls and I were watching _Beauty and the Beast_ Friday night."

"Let me guess, I'm the Beast?"

Kurt nodded. "And I'm Belle."

"…Oh."

"Yeah."

"…And that's bad?"

"David. You know it's not going to happen."

"Then stop acting like it will! Do you even notice-?"

"What's going on?" Mercedes stepped between them, apparently having just walked in. She noticed Dave was holding the rose. "Oh. You found it."

Dave stormed out.

"Great job, Mercedes." Kurt sat down dramatically and blew his hair out of his face. "What now?"

"Aw, he'll be back."

"Don't count on it. He probably doesn't even want to see me right now." He dropped into a chair, and Mercedes sat down more gracefully next to him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Mercedes gave him the you-best-be-joking look, so he explained. "I told him we're never going to happen."

"A lie, but continue."

"It's not a lie!"

"You think he's hot. You made out with him. He's _totally_ your type. He loves you so much already that I'm pretty sure he thinks your crap doesn't stink. At least, he treats you like you're perfect."

"That doesn't mean I can…"

"…Can what?"

"…love him," Kurt finished, in a small voice.

"Mm-hmm."

"I don't."

"You will."

"How do you know?"

Mercedes pulled him into a hug. "Because I know you better than anybody else does, better than you know yourself, and I _know_ that if you can forgive him for what he did to you before, he'll be perfect for you."

"I don't know if I can forgive him. I can't just… forget what he did."

"I'm not telling you to forget. I'm telling you, when you look at him, to see Dave, and not Karofsky. _Karofsky_ bullied you. _Dave_ never will."

Kurt pulled out of the hug and looked Mercedes in the eye. "Why are you so smart?"

"Cause the part that's missing from a Y-chromosome is the part that gives you the ability to _think about things_ before making decisions."

"Are you calling me impulsive?"

"Little bit."


	10. Chapter 10

Dave didn't show up to the morning meeting, but he was there in the afternoon for their little competition. He was recruited by Puck to help move the eight treadmills from the weight room to the choir room.

Kurt did not object to watching muscular men carry large objects around, but he did have to wonder what exactly they were planning.

He didn't have to wait long. Dave, Puck, Mike, and Sam did a perfect reenactment of OK Go's famous music video to "Here It Goes Again" while Finn and Artie sang. It was a very enjoyable performance - especially when Finn tripped over the edge of a treadmill and managed to keep singing from the floor, and then decided to do the worm when it switched to Artie's part, which basically amounted to Finn humping the floor and eventually hitting his head on the piano.

However, Mr. Schue, always the bringer of bad news, decided that since they had just copied the band, it wasn't "creative enough."

000

Kurt and the girls - who had recently dubbed themselves "The Guest and the Furniture" - were confident in their ability to win the competition easily. That is, until they got out to the field and found Sue and her remaining Cheerios standing amongst the pieces of what used to be four trampolines.

Santana voiced their thoughts: "Well, fuck."

Sue switched her megaphone to 'mega-screech mode' and yelled into it loud enough to get through to the covered ears of the Gleeks.

"Your trampolines have been destroyed because they present safety risks to students. Should you attempt to use them again, I will have to take legal action."

000

"Well that sucked," Santana said, once they returned to the choir room.

"I guess no one wins then?" Quinn asked.

Mr. Schue sighed. "Guess so. Sorry, girls."

Kurt cleared his throat.

"And Kurt."

"Thank you."

"Well, I guess we'll start the next lesson early, then." He went up and wrote 'Duets' on the board.

"Not again," Finn groaned, leaning back in his chair.

"Yes, again. But this time, instead of choosing your own partners, everyone else gets to choose your partner for you." He pulled out his trusty hat. "You'll each pick a name out of the hat, and then you'll say who you think should pair up with them. The person you choose as their partner picks next. The last two left automatically get paired up. Who wants to go first?"

000

They were then given the task of making sure their song choice was out of the comfort zone of at least one of the duet partners. The only ones he specified were no musicals for Rachel or Kurt and no eighties for Finn, but everyone knew what that meant for themselves.

The duet partners worked out well, in that everyone found a workable mash-up of their names - Sartie, Laurcedes, Chang2, Brittanna, Fuck (or, officially, Huderman), Faberry, and _of course_ Karommel - to use as team names.

They didn't work out well in that, within the first hour of "looking for songs", Quinn and Rachel had gotten themselves locked in a classroom and sounded like they were trying to yell at each other until they went deaf and/or mute, Finn and Puck were arguing over _them_, and Brittany and Santana had disappeared completely and no one was particularly willing to go and find them.

Quinn and Rachel had long since shut up by the time Mr. Schue found the right key for that particular door. Puck volunteered to go get them, but came back five minutes later, wide-eyed, saying, "Are you sure that was Quinn and Rachel? Looked more like Brittany and Santana to me."

Finn refused to talk to anyone but himself for the rest of practice. Among the various mutterings that were overheard was "I always wanna screw the lesbians, don't I? …Oh my God, I lost my virginity to a lesbian."

Puck was the only one who dared respond to that: "So did half the guys in this school. To the same lesbian."

Finn groaned. The last words anyone heard out of him that day were, "Maybe Kurt was right."

000

Dave and Kurt commandeered the stage after Quinn dragged Rachel off, and Dave grabbed an old acoustic guitar out of the orchestra room.

"Rachel and I have a lot more in common than I like to admit," Kurt said, facing the empty audience as Dave tuned the guitar. "One of them is that we both come here to think, and we both end up thinking in song… Oh, I love that one." Kurt smiled at the intro Dave tested out. "They're great, aren't they? They always have very powerful lyrics."

"Yeah…"

"…Keep playing. Maybe we can do this one. It's definitely unusual for me."

"Sure."

Kurt made a face at his tone and turned around. "What's wrong? Are…are you still mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you."

"Oh."

"I'm mad _for_ you."

"_Oh_."

"You knew that already."

"Well, yes, but…" Kurt hesitated, trying to force his heart to calm down. "It's different to hear you say it."

"Different how? Different now that I can _tell you_ how much of a coward I am, and how much I fucked up _everything_ in my life?"

"No! Dave, no. No. I just…"

"Stop. I don't want your pity. I don't deserve you to even care about me. I'm mad at myself for ever acting like I did… acting like… like… like a _beast_…"

"Dave…"

"Do you want to do the song or not?"

"Absolutely, but you have to let me _talk_ first."

"About what?"

"About all this self-deprecating _bullcrap_. Can't you tell I don't hate you? I see your pain, Dave. I know you're sorry. I've actually _forgiven you_ since the last time I spoke with you, isn't that interesting? I like you. I really do. I want to be your friend. Maybe more, I don't know. But you have to stop hating yourself. I should be the one hating you, and _I don't_. So you have no right to. If you _ever_ want to think about me ever getting anywhere near loving you, you'll have to love yourself first."

Dave looked down, left hand sliding down the neck of the guitar, fingers screeching against the strings. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Kurt challenged.

"God, _everything_." Dave covered his eyes with his right hand. "Everything I ever did to you, all the pushing and the names and, and even kissing you, even if that few seconds was the happiest I had ever felt in my _life_ up until then, I'm so sorry I did that to you, and now I can't even forgive myself even though you can forgive me for all of that." He rubbed at his eyes.

"All right. It's out. It's all out. Now never even _think_ about being sorry again."

Dave nodded. "Do you wanna do the song? I think… I think we need to do the song now."

"Yeah. Definitely. How do you want to split it?"

"I was thinking… I could do the first line, then you do the second, and then we do the third together…"


	11. Chapter 11

"Let's run this one more time."

"You've got it, Dave. It's perfect."

"Yeah, but, I wanna run it one more time…"

"David." Kurt grabbed Dave's chin and turned his face towards him. "We're done. It's perfect."

"You're perfect." Dave's eyes were wide and unblinking. Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was a bit… much.

He let go of Dave's face and stood up straight. "No, I'm not. Stop putting me on a pedestal or you'll never be able to reach me. And trust me, I don't need my ego stroked any more than it has been."

Dave groaned. "Can't you just let me compliment you? I'm being honest with you, I think you're perfect."

"I'll let you compliment me when I hear you complimenting yourself."

"But complimenting myself's so… stuck-up."

"Your hair looks funny."

"What?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "I think your hair looks funny. Either wear a hat until it grows out or get it cut."

"…I like my hair, though…"

"Also, you should stop wearing your jacket everywhere."

"…But I like my jacket…"

"There. That's two things you like about yourself; your hair and your fashion sense - both of which, by the way, do actually need some adjustments."

"You're such an ass."

"You _like_ ass, though."

"What?"

"Santana told me how she figured you out. Apparently you were staring at Sam's ass?"

Dave turned bright red. It spread all the way to his ears. He looked away.

"Don't worry, I won't tell him."

"Thank you."

000

Puck spread the word about Quinn and Rachel's locked-in-a-classroom shenanigans around the club pretty well - although some of it was pretty obviously made up, such as the very _creative _use of the whiteboard markers - so it wasn't too surprising that they picked _I Hate Everything About You _as their song. Finn recognized the song from the intro and nearly got up to leave before Kurt pulled him back into his seat, but neither girl paid him any mind.

They ended it looking more awkward and unsure than anyone had ever seen them before. Santana glared at them, mumbling something about "stealing her thunder"; Brittany was the only one who wasn't too confused to clap.

Santana, not willing to be upstaged, grabbed Brittany's hand and dragged her up. "Lemme show you how a _real_ dyke gets it done."

Quinn shot her an ice queen glare. "Who says we're lesbians?"

"You. Now park it." Santana silenced Quinn's protests by shoving an open hand in front of her face, and then motioned for Brittany to join her on the recently vacated stools.

She signaled to Brad, who played an unfamiliar set of chords. Once the girls began to sing, however, there was no mistaking the song.

_How can I convince you what you see is real?_

_Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel?_

_I was always reachin', you were just a girl I knew _

_I took for granted the friend I have in you_

Kurt was surprised by the new piano accompaniment; he wasn't aware that Santana knew anything about song arrangement, but somehow it came together perfectly. And while he doubted there was anything in the world that Santana _couldn't_ sing, the song was certainly out of Brittany's usual blonde-girl-pop zone.

Mid-way through the first chorus, Brittany's fingers wove their way through Santana's. They stayed like that, hands dangling between them and loosely clasped together, for the rest of the song.

000

"Are they dating or not?"

"I don't know. I can never really tell what's going on with them." Kurt turned Mercedes' hand slightly. "Or… wait, who?" he corrected, realizing his mistake.

"Both."

"Rachel and Quinn are, I presume, just very confused. They'll probably just part ways once they figure out where their sexuality stands. I think they're both bicurious. Quinn might go with girls after what happened with the baby, and Rachel will probably ignore it so she doesn't become another statistic of gay-parents-raise-gay-child. Santana and Brittany are most likely trying to be in a casual, celibate relationship to see if they can actually handle it. I'd like to be optimistic about that. I think they're good for each other. Here, finished." He released her hand.

Mercedes peered at her thumbnail, admiring the tiny flower that Kurt had designed on it. "Wow, that's beautiful. And those girls…" She shook her head. "I never really know what to think. It feels like we're the gayest school in Ohio sometimes."

Kurt laughed. "We've got nothing on Dalton. Every boy there is at least… _flexible_."

"How do you know that?"

"Because after Blaine and I broke up, he slept with most of them."

Mercedes' eyebrows shot up. She hadn't heard this one before. "You never tell me _anything_."

Kurt shrugged. "It wasn't important. He did it safely and I took him to get tested for everything under the sun as soon as the tests would be effective and I'm taking him to get retested in a couple months."

"You're…. surprisingly chill about this."

"Why wouldn't I be? We're not dating, much as he still wants us to be. He can sleep with whoever he wants."

"That's not what I mean. I mean that I thought you were sex-phobic or something."

"Well, yes." Kurt scrunched up his nose. "The idea of actually doing it myself still freaks me out, but if it's someone else it doesn't bother me. It never has."

"Except if it's porn."

"Well, yes. I guess as long as I don't have to have any experience personally involving it, it doesn't bother me. I remember one time I went to see Blaine and he hadn't washed his sheets yet." He shuddered. "I spent about fifteen minutes hyperventilating into a bag in the hallway. His room still _smelled_ like it, too. That was way too much. And I'm so glad they cut out 'Contact' when he and I went to see _RENT_ a couple months ago."

Mercedes shook her head. "Sorry, baby. Now, let's change the subject." She grinned. "Dave. How's it going?"

"How's what going?"

"Have you kissed him again?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "No. We've just been practicing our song."

"Ooh, what song?"

"It's a surprise. But it sounds pretty fabulous, if I do say so myself." He smirked. "And I do say so."

"Oh, come on, everything you do is fabulous. Case in point-" She help up her hands and wiggled her fingers.

"Careful! They're not dry yet."

Mercedes pouted. "Boy, what is wrong with you? You care more about my nails than a potential boyfriend."

"I'm not even sure I'm interested."

"_Why not_?" she whined.

"He still hates himself. He needs to love himself before anyone else can love him."

"So you _are_ planning on it."

"Eventually. Maybe."

Mercedes squealed a little bit. "You need to promise me-" she grabbed Kurt's hands "-_promise me_ that you'll give me _all_ the details. And I mean _everything_."

"Will do. Anyways, I couldn't keep it from you if I tried."

000

Music:

"I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace

"The Search Is Over" by Survivor


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey."

Kurt looked up from his magazine to see Rachel standing in his bedroom doorway. Finn must have let her in. "Hey. Finn wasn't too rude to you, was he?"

"He has… good reason to be, I guess. Can we talk?" She was twisting her hands.

"Is this about your… Quinn?"

Rachel laughed. It didn't reach her eyes. "That's one way of putting it. Yes, it's about that."

Kurt patted an empty spot on his bed, tossing the magazine to the side.

Rachel sat, tucking her legs under her. She looked, to Kurt, no older than twelve at that moment, and like she had gotten lost in an amusement park. "Um, well. I want to tell you what happened."

Kurt nodded, signaling her to begin.

"Well, we were arguing over a song… no surprise, I guess… and I said it was a perfectly good song, and she said it had nothing to do with us, and I said it did. It was about a girl who is in love with a boy who's in love with someone else, so I thought it would be good because Finn is in love with both of us but he's sort of going back and forth between us."

"And screwing you both over in the process. Sorry, continue."

"Yeah, well, she insisted that Finn only loved her and I told her that I wish Finn only loved me too but I at least admit that he will never really be able to love only one of us. And I guess she… snapped or something, and she just kissed me. I pushed her away but I kept holding on to her and I didn't know if she meant it or was just trying to confuse me. And then I just… pulled her back in. Then Puck walked in on us. Whatever he said was a lie, by the way. All we did was kiss, and only twice. After that she was just quiet the whole time. She agreed to every suggestion I made - I ended up picking a different song, obviously - and the only sound she made was singing." She stopped, and it felt like a full minute before Kurt realized she had finished her story.

"So. Are you…?" He decided to let her finish the question.

She nodded, seeming to understand. "No, I don't think I'm bisexual or anything. I mean, I enjoyed it, but…" She looked away. "I can't really imagine myself… _with_ a girl, you know?"

He nodded, then shook his head to try and clear out the mental image. "And Quinn?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I can try and talk to her tomorrow…"

"No." He patted Rachel's hand. "Don't worry about it. Let me."

Kurt pulled his hand back and grabbed his phone off the night table. He put a finger to his lips - _you're not here, okay?_ - and called Quinn.

The connection switched abruptly to voicemail halfway through the third ring. He tried again. Straight to voicemail.

"Well?" Rachel whispered.

"She won't pick up." He set the phone down, defeated.

Rachel's shoulders slumped. "I don't expect her to, I don't know, _embrace the gay_ or whatever, but… I just want to know why she did it. If she really feels that way about me or if she just wanted to shut me up. I don't even know if she _liked_ it, or if she even realized what she was doing."

Kurt laughed. "We're in the same boat."

Rachel looked confused.

"You want to know how I found out about Dave?"

Rachel's eyes went wide, wider than Ms. Pillsbury's. "No way."

Kurt nodded. "It was a couple weeks before he got expelled. The week we did that boys-versus-girls thing. I think it was actually the day you girls performed, right after the lunch meeting. He smacked my phone out of my hands and pushed me, and I followed him into the locker room and started yelling at him. I thought he was going to hit me, but… he didn't."

"Why didn't you tell me? Tell all of us?"

Kurt shook his head. "I would have outed him, and by the time he came out by himself, I really didn't feel like it mattered. Now, listen; I'll try to talk to Quinn tomorrow. You just try to avoid her as best as possible. She might try to hurt you. Don't go into the bathroom alone, if you know you pass her in the halls between classes try to take a different route, you know the deal. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

"It's not a problem." He leaned forward and hugged her, holding on as she turned her head into his shoulder and even as he felt something wet soak through his shirt.

000

Rachel was avoiding Quinn. Quinn was avoiding Rachel.

Kurt was trying to talk to Quinn. Quinn was ignoring, then avoiding, then flat-out hiding from Kurt.

Santana cornered Kurt before English. "Stop following Quinn around. She doesn't want to talk about it."

"And how do you know?"

"The facts that I am a lesbian and a judgmental bitch do more when combined than just give me an excellent gaydar, you know. They also give me a way to realize that Quinn is not ready to talk to anyone about her sexuality. Normally I'd back her into a corner and demand she talk to me, but now that I know how it feels to be confused and scared like she is, I won't."

"What do you think? About her?"

"I think she's asexual. I think she always has been, and I think the only reason she had sex with Puck was because he got her drunk and pressured her into it. I also think she's romantically bicurious. And I think she's confused about Rachel. Hell, _I'm_ confused about Rachel. She's hot, in a sort of short-cute-schoolgirl way, but she's so fucking annoying that I can't be attracted to her beyond the surface. And, hell, you'd probably be dating her if you weren't gay and she wasn't so damn clingy."

Kurt shuddered. "I don't know if I could handle that much Rachel, clingy or not."

"Oh, please, you're just like her, except you actually know how to dress."

"That's a terrible thing to say."

"You make fun of her clothes all the time-"

"No, I mean saying that I'm just like her."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Apollo."

"Good one. I wasn't aware you were familiar with Greek mythology."

"I'm full of surprises. Now, like I said, leave Quinn alone unless she comes to you first. Unless she comes after you with scissors. Run; I'm not helping you if that happens."

"Noted."

"So, you and _Davey_ singing today?"

"I've _never_ called him that. Not even in my dreams."

Santana raised her eyebrows.

"…I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't. Are you going?"

"I suppose so."

"Hmm."

"Stop _smiling_ like that. We haven't _done_ anything."

"Yet."

000

Kurt's phone rang on his way to Glee practice. A picture of Blaine filled the screen.

_Ohhhh, boy_. He answered, against his better judgment.

"Hello?"

"Kurt."

"Wes?"

"Mm-hmm. Have you seen Blaine?"

"What? Why would I have seen him?"

"He hasn't been in class all day, and when I went to his dorm, I found his phone lying on his bed, but he was gone. I sent the Warblers out to look for him but I was wondering if he went to Lima."

"I haven't seen him, but it'd be a safe bet that he's here." Then, after a reluctant sigh: "I'll look out for him."

"Thank you. I know he's been bothering you and I really hope this isn't some crazy plan to get you back. I love him dearly, but you deserve better than someone who will only pretend to love you."

Kurt guessed it was just some Dalton thing that it took him a moment to figure out whether or not that was a compliment. "Um… Thanks?"

"Not a problem. I wish you luck in your future romantic endeavors, and if you find Blaine, just call this number. We'll come and get him."

Kurt sighed as he hung up. This week was just getting longer and longer.

000

Notes:

-Apollo was the ancient Greek god of light and the sun, truth and prophecy, medicine, healing, plague, music, poetry, the arts, etc. He is also believed by many to have been the god of homosexuality, and had several male lovers.


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt went around the school twice before heading to Glee. He didn't see any signs of his ex-boyfriend, and, after reporting the news (or lack thereof) to David, who had inherited the duty of answering Blaine's phone, he decided he'd shown up twenty minutes late for nothing. As soon as he sat down, Tina and Mike launched into their number.

He could _feel_ Rachel and Quinn sneaking glances at each other from across the room. He _knew_ Santana and Brittany were playing footsie behind him. And he could almost _hear_ Dave thinking next to him. Leaning forward slightly, Kurt tried to focus on Mike leading Tina in some sort of Hispanic-inspired dance while she sang _'Into The Night'_.

He heard a whisper near the back of his neck. "Too much sexual tension for you?"

"Shut up, Santana," he hissed through his teeth.

She snickered and moved away as the song ended. Kurt realized regretfully that he had only absorbed about ten seconds of it. He would have to apologize to them later…

Dave elbowed Kurt's arm. "You wanna go next?"

Kurt nodded and stood up slowly. The low hum of whispering went silent. Kurt sighed. "Be more dramatic, I dare you."

Dave brought a stool out, sat down, and started tuning the guitar he had borrowed from the band room. Kurt opted to stand instead.

As soon as Dave began to play, smiles of vague recognition began to break out amongst the club members.

Kurt began, contrary to Dave's original plan. "_You and I got something but it's all then it's nothing to me, yeah."_

Dave glanced at Kurt in the pause between their lines. "_I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me, yeah._"

"_And we wake up in the breakdown of the things we never thought we could be, yeah_," they sang together. Dave's voice matched surprisingly well with Kurt's. Rachel would call it "vocally compatible." Santana would call it "soundgasmic."

Kurt lightly put a hand on Dave's shoulder. "_I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear… We've got to move you, darling_."

"_I thought I lost you somewhere_," Dave responded, "_but you were never really ever there at all. And I want to get free-_"

"_Talk to me, I can feel you falling_."

"_I wanted to be all you need_."

They sang together again: "_Somehow here is gone_."

Dave turned his eyes to Kurt. "_And I don't need the fallout of all the past that's in between us_."

"_And I'm not holding on_," Kurt assured him, smiling.

"_And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here_," Dave surprised Kurt by singing that line with him. For a moment Kurt thought Dave was calling him a liar, but then he realized not only that he _had_ lied to Dave a few times, but that Dave had only said it to show he understood; it was a terribly mean line in an otherwise generally kind song, but it fit them so well.

They repeated the chorus the same way as before to end the song. A couple of hands started clapping before they even finished the last line. Even Quinn belatedly shook herself from the deep evaluation of her feelings and clapped politely, smiling with an apology in her eyes.

"So, are you _dating_ now?" Rachel asked, beaming. Quinn tensed at her voice.

"No," Dave answered, before Kurt could speak.

Rachel slumped.

"This is ridiculous," Mercedes said. "You two-"

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Kurt pleaded.

Mercedes shrugged and crossed her arms, looking away.

Mr. Schue rescued them. "I'm pretty sure I've told you all more than once to keep relationship drama _out of Glee_ unless you're putting it into song, and I think we've had enough of that this week. Does anyone have anything light-hearted?"

Puck raised his hand. "We got this, Mr. Schue. Finn, drums, now."

Finn complied, looking surprisingly happy for someone who, only days earlier, had been faced with the harsh reality that he may as well be a lesbian for all of the girls-who-like-other-girls that he'd had relationships with.

Just from recognizing the three-second drum solo intro, everyone groaned in annoyance, save for Mr. Schue, who just looked confused at the response.

Kurt tried to find humor in Finn and Puck, both notorious cheaters, signing about never giving up on a girl, but his mind was otherwise occupied. He chanced a look at Dave, and saw his face tightened in thought. Kurt got lost in his own thoughts.

'_Ridiculous,' she said. Because we're not together. Can't they just let me deal with my love life on my own? Oh, of course not. I've been so nosy in __**their**__ love lives. This is probably some sort of retribution for my meddling. _

As if on cue, Kurt's phone rang just as Finn and Puck finished. He clapped, smiling apologetically as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

It was a text from Blaine's phone: _Found him. Giant clusterfuck. Will call later._ Kurt assumed that Nick had assumed Phone Duty; he was the only Warbler (aside from Kurt) who ever used such colorful swearing and didn't always text in complete sentences.

"Found who?" Lauren asked, reading the text from over Kurt's shoulder.

He snapped the phone to his chest. "Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" he whispered back.

Lauren shrugged. "Not too fond of it. Found who?" she repeated. "And since when does Pretty-Boy talk like that?"

"He _doesn't_. Someone else texted me from his phone. Blaine went missing, that's who they found."

"Blaine went missing?" Dave asked from Kurt's other side.

Kurt sighed. He thought he had been quiet enough. "Yes. They just found him."

"What happened?"

Kurt made a face. Since when did Dave care about Blaine's well-being? "I don't know. I'll find out soon enough."

000

'Soon enough' ended up being on the drive home. Kurt got a phone call - from Trent, and from his own phone this time - who explained it in an uncharacteristically blunt manner: "He screwed a teacher, the moron."

The teacher got fired, obviously. Blaine got moved to a room right next to the headmaster so he would be under constant surveillance. He was forced to go through some sort of psychotherapy for his sex addiction.

Kurt told Trent to tell Blaine he'd come and visit the next day - Friday.

So Kurt had sworn to let Blaine fix things himself. He hadn't anticipated Blaine to get _this bad_.

As soon as Kurt hung up, he got another call. He found himself extremely grateful for the invention of Bluetooth as he passed a police car. "Hello?"

"It's Dave."

"Oh! Hi."

"Is Blaine okay?"

Kurt's eyebrows drew together. "Since when are you so concerned with Blaine?"

"He's your friend. Should I not be concerned?"

"I never said that, it's just… new. But he's… well, he's not _fine_, exactly, but it could be worse. He slept with a teacher."

"Idiot. Sorry," he amended hurriedly.

"No, you're right. I never expected someone so intelligent to be _that_ dumb. But why are you calling? Shouldn't you be driving home?"

"My dad's car got a flat yesterday and he didn't have a spare, so he's using mine. I'm walking home."

"I'll let my dad know, he'll probably give you some sort of friend-of-my-son discount to replace the tire."

Dave was silent for a few moments. "…I'm not too sure of that."

Kurt was confused for a bit, then he remembered Burt and Dave's previous encounters; one had ended in Dave pinned against a wall, and the next had ended in Dave being expelled. "I'll…explain our situation. Don't worry, I'm not going to out you."

"It's fine, I know your dad will be okay with it."

"That's not the point."

"I'm going to tell my parents tomorrow."

That was an abrupt change of topic. "Really?"

"Yeah. My dad will be fine with it, he told me off for being an ignorant little shit and for bullying you because you're different, and he sort of outed his cousin to me. I never knew Aunt Sarah used to be Uncle Stephen, but my dad's always been cool with her, so…"

"And your mom?"

"…I have no idea. It's weird, my dad makes sure I know what I did was wrong, but my mom never says anything. I'm gonna tell my dad first and ask him what he thinks mom will say."

"Do you want me to reserve you a spot on our couch just in case?"

Dave sighed in relief. "Thanks, Kurt."

000

Songs:

"Into The Night" by Santana

"Here is Gone" by The Goo Goo Dolls

"Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley


	14. Chapter 14

"Rachel."

She had been taking out her cell phone to call her dads and ask for a ride home after Friday's Glee practice, thinking about Mercedes' and Lauren's cover of "I Want You" and Sam's and Artie's cover of "I'll Be There For You," when Quinn came up to her. Rachel attempted to compose herself; it wouldn't do to show weakness in front of the Ice Queen, even in the form of surprise. "Yes, Quinn?"

"Do you need a ride home?"

"One of my dads will pick me up, I just have to call-"

"I have a car, I can give you a ride."

"Oh…" Rachel wondered whether this was some sort of plot to get her killed. Or worse. "That's not necessary. Thank you for the offer, though."

Quinn sighed. "I'm not going to try to kill, maim, hurt, or seduce you, if that's what you're wondering. I just want to talk to you."

Rachel _hadn't_ been worried about Quinn seducing her before, but now she was. "It's really not necessary-"

"Yes it is. I… _need_ to talk to you."

Quinn's expression was what did it; she was desperate. "…All right. Let me just tell my dads." Rachel shot off a quick text to them and followed Quinn out of the school.

Once they were in the car, Rachel started asking questions. "Did you like the performances today? I thought they chose very well, certainly out of their comfort zones but still well-done. Don't you think so?"

Quinn looked over at her almost sadly. "You know I don't want to talk about the performances."

Rachel's smile dropped. "I know. I just think this is something that would be better to discuss when one of us is not piloting a potentially dangerous vehicle. Many accidents are caused by heightened emotions."

"Do you want to talk at your house or mine?"

"Oh, we don't need to disturb your mother with this-"

"She already knows." At Rachel's stunned look, she continued. "I talked to her about it. She made me tell her; apparently I've been miserable and I've been talking in my sleep, which I haven't done since I found out I was pregnant, so she knew something serious was going on. And she knows when I'm lying, so I had to tell her the truth. She told me to talk to you, so I'm talking to you."

It probably should have hurt Rachel that Quinn was only speaking with her at her mother's request, and not of her own free will, but it didn't. At least they were talking. "Well then, we'll go to your house."

Quinn nodded and started driving. "I did like them, by the way. The performances. They… did well." She smiled, but only barely.

"Not as well as us," Rachel replied, nearly whispering.

Quinn's smile grew just a fraction.

000

Kurt's phone rang as he opened the door. Burt looked up from the couch and Kurt waved at him. He'd left the shop early to be home in case Dave's coming out didn't go as well as planned. While he didn't put nearly as much trust in Dave as Kurt did, he at least was willing to help now that he knew Dave's reasons for going after Kurt. Kurt was, in a way, thankful Dave had allowed him to out him to Burt; the man wouldn't have trusted him any other way.

"Dave?"

"I can't do it."

Kurt locked the door behind him and headed up to his room; this would probably be a long conversation and Burt didn't need to know _everything_ that Dave had apologized for. "I'm not going to force you to. It's your choice."

"I _want to_, though. I just don't know if I _can_. Can't you help me with that?"

"Last time I tried to help someone with having conversations with parents over the phone, Finn got Quinn kicked out of her house. I'm not the best person to go to for advice about this. I'll probably convince you to sing it to them."

"That's fine. What should I sing?"

"You're not actually serious about that, are you?"

"Yeah, sure, why not? Can't hurt to try."

Kurt pulled the phone away from his face and stared at it for a few moments before replying. "That's a terrible idea. Do you really think your parents would take very kindly to you busting out in 'What What, In The Butt'? Because I don't." Kurt tried to keep his mind away from that mental image.

Dave started laughing. "Oh, man, that's hilarious; if I was sure they'd be fine with it I'd totally do that."

Kurt groaned. The image was getting harder to ignore.

"You suggested it. Seriously, what do I do?"

"Just… tell them. Don't try to, I don't know, _approach it from a different angle_. It's not like football or hockey or video games. You have to face it straight on - no pun intended. Sneak attacks are just annoying. Most people appreciate complete honesty. It's going to be hard to say it no matter what, but it gets harder the longer you wait, not easier. Once it's out, you'll feel much better."

There was silence for a few moments, then Dave let out a long breath. "Thanks. I think… I think I'll be okay. I just have one question."

"Okay."

"After I come out - and I mean totally come out to everyone - I know I'm gonna get plenty of crap from everyone. Does it really get easier?"

"Yes. It does. And I'm not just saying that because the guy who was bullying me turned out to be gay, too. It really does get easier. Not everyone's going to treat you well, but you get used to it, and in a little over a year you'll be out of high school and if you pick your college right and you end up living in the right area you won't have to worry about 'getting crap' from anyone."

"You sound like an 'It Gets Better' video."

Kurt instantly got defensive. "Those videos are very inspirational and-"

"Relax, Fancy. It was a compliment. I've seen, like, a hundred of them, and I just wanted to hear it from someone I know."

"Oh."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"I'm gonna… go talk to my dad now."

"Call me when you're done, okay?"

Dave laughed. "You make it sound like a date."

Kurt didn't respond to that. The mental image from earlier grew ever more impossible to push out of his mind.

"Talk to you later."

"Yeah. Later."

As he hung up, Kurt was left with the odd feeling that they _were_ dating and neither of them really knew it yet. It was already taking them forever to hang up the phone.

000

"Santana?"

"Yeah, Britt?" Santana glanced up from the book she was reading - yes, Santana enjoyed reading, though she'd deny it to anyone who asked.

"I think we need to talk."

"About what?"

"About us. You said you love me, and I love you too, but we didn't talk about it since then. I want to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about." _Even though there's a lot to talk about and this is the perfect time since we're not at school and my parents are out but I don't know what to say…_

"Santana…"

"I know you want me to come out to everyone before I can be with you, and I just can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, I'm not nearly as strong as Kurt and there's no way I'd be able to take the shit that he did. And also, my parents aren't understanding or accepting like yours. They'll kick me out without even thinking about it."

"Well then what are we going to do?"

Santana felt helpless. Practically _begging_ for her was her perfect girl, the girl she was in love with and would give anything for - only she wouldn't, because she _couldn't_. There were so many things she couldn't do. If Brittany needed Santana to give her life for her, she'd do it without a second thought. But coming out was so much harder, because she'd have to face that every day.

"Tana?"

"I don't know, Britt." She set her book down and pulled a pillow to her chest. "I don't know."

Brittany pulled the pillow out of Santana's arms and snuggled up to her. "Tana, you don't have to tell everyone you're a lesbian. You don't even have to tell anyone you love me. All I want is that you _act _like you do, and when they ask, don't tell them you _don't_."

Santana ran her hands slowly through Brittany's hair; Brittany giggled and squirmed in her arms.

"Stop it, Tana. You're tickling me."

Santana smiled at her. "I love you."

"I love you to. Will you do this one thing for me?"

"My parents can't know."

"We don't have to tell them," Brittany whispered. She nudged Santana's nose with her own. Santana laughed quietly and kissed her. It had been too long since she'd been able to.

"I promise I'll hold your hand in the halls and not punch anyone who says anything about it. Is that enough?"

Brittany nodded.

Santana hugged her tightly. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this happy; she probably never had, but there was something that didn't sit right with her… oh. Of course. "I'm so sorry for how I've treated you."

"What do you mean?"

"I manipulated you and used you and I treated you like crap when you chose Wheels over me and I've done so many other horrible things to you and I'm just so sorry."

"I know, Tana. I know you're sorry and I forgive you and I still love you after everything you did."

"Why?"

"Kurt forgave Dave. Rachel forgave Quinn. What they did was a lot worse than what you did, so I think it's only fair that I forgive you."

"Oh, God, Britt-" She pulled her in close and kissed her breathlessly. "You're perfect."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. You're perfect to me."

There was a shuffling noise by the door. Santana froze. She hadn't heard the front door open-

"_Shit!_"

Brittany moved away from Santana just before the door opened. Santana's parents stepped in; they were furious.

"You have 24 hours to be out of this house," Mr. Lopez said. "Whatever you leave behind gets thrown out. _Dyke_."

000

Music:

"I Want You (She's So Heavy)" by The Beatles

"I'll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts (a.k.a. the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. theme song)

"What What (In The Butt)" by Samwell

Other: "It Gets Better" Project


	15. Chapter 15

"Mom? Rachel's here."

Judy Fabray came out of her office and shook hands with Rachel. "Pleasure to meet you. I've heard so much about you."

"I can imagine." Rachel smiled.

Quinn turned a bright red and moved toward the stairs. "We'll be in my room."

"I'd tell you to keep the door open but I think you girls need some privacy, so, I better not hear anything suspicious." Quinn raced up the stairs, leaving only Rachel to catch the smirk that Judy gave her. "Not saying you can't do anything," she whispered. "Just don't let me hear it." Judy smiled and returned to her office.

Quinn's room was not at all what Rachel was expecting. She expected ornate furniture, patterned wallpaper, the bed not even visible under a mountain of pillows. Instead, the walls were bare and painted a simple bright yellow, the twin bed was easily visible and covered in a white blanket with tiny flowers on it, and the furniture was plain and its white paint was peeling slightly at the corners.

"We don't really have the money to redecorate," Quinn said, noticing Rachel's confusion. "This stuff is my cousin's from when she was really young."

"Did the divorce not turn out well for your mom?" Rachel asked. "I would have expected her to get almost everything, considering your dad kicked out a pregnant teenager."

"It's not finalized yet. We'll probably get most of what my parents shared but until then, this is it. You can sit, if you want." Quinn was oddly calm for what was sure to be an emotionally strenuous conversation.

Rachel sat on the bed; Quinn spun her desk char around and sat on it before pulling her legs up onto the seat and tucking them under her. Rachel recognized the position; it was a way for Quinn to force herself to talk to Rachel, because escaping was made harder with her legs now trapped.

"So, um. I think I've probably liked you for a long time and I didn't really… well, I think I knew, in a way, I just never wanted to accept it. Acceptance didn't exactly come along with how I was raised." It was odd to see Quinn so unsure. Usually she was the Queen of Everything, but now she seemed insecure enough to be the lowest of all the serfs. "My dad was really, really homophobic and my mom never said anything, though now I know she never agreed with him and was just too scared to say anything. I sucked up every word my dad said. It wasn't until I found Santana and Brittany making out in my room that I ever thought differently. I mean, they're not _normal_, but they're not bad people, and their… _eccentricities_ have nothing to do with the fact that they like girls. And then I really got to know Kurt, and now I know you so much better… I don't know why I ever thought my dad made any sort of sense. There's nothing wrong with any of you, not Santana or Brittany or Kurt, and you're just fine after being raised by gay dads." She stopped, looking at Rachel.

"What are you trying to say?"

Quinn glared at her. "I'm trying to tell you that I think I'm gay. Not, like, _I'll cut off some male parts if a guy gets too close to me_, but, I felt more when I kissed you just to shut you up than I did when I slept with Puck or when I tried to be romantic with Finn."

Rachel just nodded for the time being; she wasn't sure what she wanted to say yet.

"I don't want to force you into anything, and I'm not going to ask you for something you don't want. I owe you at least that much after how I've treated you. I don't even know if you _like me_ like that, and if you don't, that's fine. I'm not in any desperate need to be in a relationship. But I do want to at least be your friend, if you can forgive me for what I've done to you."

"I already forgave you." That was all Rachel could come up with, but it seemed to be enough for Quinn, who smiled brightly.

"Oh." She pulled her legs out slowly from under her. "Okay."

Rachel spoke slowly as some ideas came to mind. "With regards to a relationship, I've never been interested in girls before, and I do still believe I'm straight. However, I can't deny that I felt _something_ when we kissed, and I'm not opposed to the idea of a relationship with a woman. I thought I didn't want to pursue a relationship with you before I came here, but now, I'd like to think about it. I'd also like very much to be friends with you, at least until I've made up my mind. We can figure out from there if we want to continue our friendship or make something more of it."

Quinn nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Then her phone buzzed on the desk. She frowned slightly, then picked it up, recognizing the ringtone. "Santana?"

"_It's Brittany. Tana's parents were listening to us, they found out about her. She's got a day to leave. I don't know what to do. They just left, they're not even going to help her pack._"

Quinn looked up at Rachel as she replied. "Rachel and I will be there as soon as possible. Call Kurt, he'll get everyone over. We'll call Rachel's dads and Mr. Schue. Tell Santana we're going to make sure everything's okay."

"_Thank you so much, Q._" The call ended.

Quinn pulled Rachel up. "Santana got kicked out. We need to help her get all her stuff out before her parents get back. Do you think the whole Glee club is enough people to pack up her room?"

Rachel nodded. "More than enough. My dads have a minivan, they can put all the seats down and move everything. I think Mr. Hummel has a truck as well."

000

"It's because I'm lady-fabulous, dad."

"'Lady-fabulous' or not, I don't understand how any son of mine can not like baseball."

Kurt rolled his eyes, and was about to answer, but was saved by his phone. "Dave! How did it go?"

"_They already knew._" Dave was laughing. "_They already knew. This is hilarious._"

"They… What? How?"

"_My dad said he figured it out the day I got expelled, and when he told my mom why I got expelled she said 'mark my words, Dave is not straight.' And they waited until now to tell me because they wanted me to feel comfortable talking about it with them._"

"Wow. That's… My dad did the same thing."

"What did I do?" Burt asked.

"You knew I was gay all along," Kurt replied, momentarily holding the phone away from his face.

"_We're exactly the fucking same, aren't we?_" Dave wondered aloud.

"In some ways. I'm proud of you, Dave."

"_I'm kinda proud of me, too_."

"You should be. Do you want to celebrate?"

"_You need to stop asking things that sound like date plans or I'll start thinking you've changed your mind._"

"I can't take my gay friend out for a coming-out celebration without it being misconstrued as a date?"

Burt was suddenly extremely interested in the conversation.

"_No way, it's in the rules._"

"What rules?"

"_The rules of life. If you're friends with someone who __**could**__be interested in you, everyone thinks you're dating._"

Kurt laughed. "That's true. Hold on, I have another call." He switched lines. "Hello?"

"_Kurt, it's Brittany. Santana's parents-_"

He didn't need further explanation; Santana had mentioned her homophobic parents plenty of times. "How long does she have to leave?"

"_A day. Quinn and Rachel are coming with Mr. Schue but we'll need more help._"

"We'll be right over. I'll call everyone. Can I talk to Santana?"

"_Mm-hmm_." There was a crackling noise as the phone shifted to Santana.

Kurt used the moment to explain to his dad. "Santana got kicked out. Can you and Carole help everyone pack?" Burt nodded and went upstairs to get Carole and Finn.

"_Hey._" Santana sniffled.

"Hey. Don't worry, you're gonna be okay. We'll make sure of it."

"_I know. But it still hurts._"

"It'll get better. We'll be there soon."

"_Thanks._"

Kurt hung up the line and reported to Dave. "Get all the guys - except Finn, he's upstairs - and get to Santana's as soon as possible. I'll text everyone, you just have to pick them up."

"_Got it. See you there._"

He shoved the phone back in his pocket. The rest of the family was ready to go. Kurt sent out a mass text to the rest of Glee and got in his car to pick up Mercedes, Lauren, and Tina. Burt took Finn and Carole in the truck after loading it up with as many empty cardboard boxes and plastic crates as they could find.

What a weekend this was turning out to be.


	16. Chapter 16

Kurt called Blaine immediately once he dropped off Mercedes, Lauren, and Tina at Santana's house, apologizing for not being able to come and see him.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine, but, well, I've told you about Santana's parents-"

"_Kurt. It's fine. Do what you have to do._"

"I'll come see you tomorrow."

"_Bring Dave._"

"What? Why?"

Blaine sighed. "_I want to talk to him. I'm not going to yell at him or out him to the world or anything, I just want to make sure he's good enough for you._"

"We're not dating."

"_In the case that you do at some point, because I think you will, I want to make sure he's right for you. Not that my opinion will matter. You'll do what you want, and I know you'll make the right decision. I'd just like to make sure that if I can't have you, someone who's truly worthy of you is the one you're falling in love with._"

"What brought this on?"

"_Sleeping with a teacher opened my eyes to how low I'd sunk. I don't deserve you, much as it pains me to admit that. Not even close. I still love you, but I'm not going to try and force you to love me anymore. You can make your own decisions. I just want to know whether or not I like your decisions. Okay?_"

Kurt had known Blaine long enough to understand that he was well-meaning, even though the phrasing of Blaine's request left a little too much room for interpretation. "Yeah. Thanks. We'll be there."

Brittany led Santana down the stars, holding a duffel bag with what Kurt presumed was what Santana would need until everything was moved into the Pierces' spare bedroom. She'd be staying in Finn's room for the next few days, and Finn would take the couch since Dave wouldn't need it. Brittany insisted on staying with her. Burt said he didn't mind, so long as they didn't get up to any "shenanigans" while in the house.

Kurt patted Santana's arm and smiled at her. "It'll be all right. You'll be okay."

Santana just nodded and turned her face into Brittany's neck.

He drove them back to his house. Santana collapsed on the couch as soon as they got there and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly. Brittany sat down next to her and started to play with her hair, whispering to her just loud enough for Kurt to hear.

"Do you want me to do your hair, Tana? That always makes you feel better…" Kurt assumed the answer was 'no,' as Brittany kept talking. "I'm sure our friends will be able to move everything, and then you'll come and live with me, and my parents will leave us alone when we need to be alone, and they'll love you like you're their daughter, even more than they already do. You know we can take care of you. And I'll always be there for you no matter what, Tana."

"You promise?" Santana asked in a small voice, muffled by the pillow.

"I promise." Brittany leaned down and kissed Santana's head. "Come here, Kurt."

Kurt had been standing in the entrance, watching the scene - _they're so cute and so in love_ - and was reluctant to join and break it up, but he did anyway. He kneeled down next to the couch and touched Santana's arm. She released her grip on the pillow and held his hand. "You'll be fine, Santana," Kurt promised. "Dave's dad is a lawyer, he can make sure your parents never bother you again. I'm here if you ever need me, and you'll be with Brittany all the time. I know you're hurting now, but you'll be okay."

Santana turned toward him slightly, looking at him through one eye. "My mom is on the school board. There's a meeting this weekend. Everyone will know by Monday."

"Then you stand proud and don't listen to a word anyone says against you. I know you can, you do it all the time."

Santana almost smiled; her mouth twitched slightly. "Alright, that's enough pity-party for me. Leave me alone with Britts, go back to your boyfriend. I promise it'll make me feel better."

Kurt nodded and stood up. "No sex in the house. You want to do it, get a hotel. And Dave is _not _my boyfriend."

"Not yet." There was the smile.

000

When Kurt returned to the Lopezes' house, his dad's truck was more than half-full of furniture- a desk, two dressers with the drawers taken out, and three leopard-print chairs. Finn and Puck were bringing out the bed frame, and Burt was tying everything down before driving it back. Kurt waved to the three of them before going in.

Santana's room was insane. Artie was rolling up posters, Mike was pulling the drapes down from the windows, Dave and Sam were taking down shelves, Lauren and Carole were putting the entire contents of the adjoining bathroom into boxes, and Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes took up most of the room sorting through Santana's clothes (mostly under the supervision of Mercedes). Kurt joined them, making sure that Mercedes was sorting them by designer and function.

Tina was in charge of shoes, sorting them efficiently despite the constant "Oh, these are _incredible_, I wish I had them" every pew pairs. Quinn was going through the shirts, Rachel had dresses, and Mercedes had pants and skirts.

Quinn stood up and pointed Kurt to her pile. "You do these. Someone needs to go pack up her underwear and I'm the only person she won't kill for it."

Kurt was, as always, shocked at what Santana owned. All of the designers that he had to buy from the worn-once place a block from the school were first-hand; all of the pieces that he had to find knockoffs or rejects of on ebay were the real thing. He'd have to talk to Santana about borrowing some of it sometime.

Dave came over, shelves in his hand. "How're you doing?"

"Great. You?"

Dave grinned. "Incredible."

"I'm… um. I'm going to see Blaine tomorrow."

Dave's smile fell.

"He wants me to bring you."

Dave frowned even more.

"He, um… He wants to make sure you're… 'worthy of me.'" Kurt looked back down at the clothes.

Dave's expression changed entirely, and he laughed. "Since when is he a good judge of that?"

Kurt looked back up. "He's not trying to get me back, Dave. He knows he's not right for me and he wants to make sure I choose someone who is."

Dave's eyebrows raised. "Did you change your mind or something?"

"Dave. I'm really not ready for another boyfriend right now."

"Then why is he making sure I'd be good for you?"

Kurt noticed everyone was staring. He ignored them. "Because Blaine, like everyone else we know, thinks it's absolutely inevitable that we will get together, and none of them realize that 'inevitable' is not what I'm looking for in a relationship." Kurt noted with pride that everyone went back to being engrossed in packing.

Dave bent down, putting the shelves on the ground. "What's wrong with inevitable?"

Kurt sighed. "Finn and Rachel were inevitable. Puck and Santana were inevitable. Blaine and I were inevitable. I don't want us to be inevitable, because we'll just inevitably _break up_ like everyone else and I don't want that."

"So you _have_ changed your mind."

"No, David. I'm still not ready for another boyfriend. But when I am, and when everyone stops assuming we _have_ to get together, you can count on it being you." Kurt smiled at him. "Is that okay?"

Dave's eyes were wide. "Yeah." He sounded breathless. "Yeah, that's… That's more than okay. That's great!"

"I'm glad someone's having a good day."

"Yeah." Dave laughed. "I'm gonna go bring these shelves out. Rachel's dads should be here by now, I wanted to meet them."

"Tell them to come in, I haven't seen them in a while."

"Will do." Dave picked up the shelves and left.

Mercedes leaned over and punched Kurt lightly in the arm. "You never tell me _anything._"

"I _just_ decided on it on the drive over, give me a break."


	17. Chapter 17

I keep meaning to thank all my reviewers but I always forget. So, let's take it from the top.

Thanks to xmeaganxmondayx, Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare, Angie38, KurtofskyoverKlaine, dalekdestroyer666, PowerLad, Candybites, Vollfied, Gothicthundra, pikapii, Ellieandra, SabrinaTheGLEEk, LizzyPoodle, daringnerveandchivalry, TheBlushfulHippocrene, DavidKarofsky, Vellophone, cornflakesareglutenfree, hpgleek713, HPalto87, HeartlessLink, Kei17, Breathe_In_Butterfly, and captainlove. If I missed you, thank you too!

000

They worked through the night.

Santana's parents didn't come home, so they kept packing, running on pure adrenaline and love for their friend and caffeine from the constant barrage of coffee that Kurt and Quinn alternated making. At six in the morning, Santana's bedroom, bathroom, and closets had finally been emptied completely, and everything was in boxes in the Pierces' spare room or garage.

Kurt brought Santana and Brittany back over to round up whatever was lying around the house. Santana decided, just to fuck with her parents, to take every single reminder of her - photos, awards, gifts, legal documents, even that popsicle-stick refrigerator magnet frame from the first grade. She went back up to her room and lifted a floorboard in her closet to reveal a locked metal box. She pulled it out and brought it down. She answered Kurt's questioning look with a whispered "Do you really think I want my parents finding my sex toys?" and headed out to the backyard with the photos. She tossed them into the barbecue and waved Puck over. He lit a match and dropped it in.

"Let's go." She turned away from the burning photos. She saved less than ten, held in her hands; a few of her at various Cheerios competitions, one of an old woman and a baby, and several of her and Brittany.

As they were leaving, she hesitated in front of a guitar in the entrance hall. After a few moments of intense staring, she picked it up and headed out, mumbling, "They are _not _keeping Nanna's guitar. No _fucking_ way."

000

Santana decided she'd rather have a smaller party for unpacking at Brittany's, and only invited Kurt, Dave, and Brittany herself. They cleaned up the spare room themselves and then laid cushions on the floor and started unpacking everything, sticking all the clothes in the huge walk-in closets. Santana wanted to get rid of as much of what her family had given her as possible, so she sold all of her furniture to Mr. Parma, the artist down the street. She tried to hand over the money to Brittany's parents, but they refused to accept it, telling her that as long as she was with their daughter, she was family. Instead, Santana ended up giving Kurt free reign to use the money to decorate her room. Her only direction was "Make it me."

When she moved out of Finn's room and into her new room at Brittany's the next afternoon, she got the distinct feeling she was stepping into some sort of creepy fairytale, which was enough to make her ignore the fact that Kurt had gotten a full set of new furniture into her room in a day. The walls were green, the ceiling and furniture were black, the bed was covered in a green and silver blanket, and the whole room was lit with fake candelabras.

"I always thought of you as a Slytherin," Kurt explained. "Also, that guitar - you said it was your grandmother's, I think - was painted green, and I wanted it to fit in the room."

"Much as it should pain me to live in a room pulled from a book, you're right about me being a Slytherin, so I'll let it pass. But I don't know if I can pull off Draco Malfoy."

Kurt looked at her like she'd grown a third boob in the middle of her forehead. "You've read _Harry Potter_?"

"Well, _duh_, Dumbledore. You'd never guess, but I happen to love reading. I've been in Honors English classes all of high school. And none of you better say anything to anyone about that, got it?"

Kurt saluted her. "Yes, ma'am."

"We should redecorate Britt's room to be Hufflepuff themed. We'd be the first ever Slytherin-Hufflepuff relationship."

"I know what a Hufflepuff is!" Brittany said. "It's like s'mores, only with peanut butter instead of chocolate."

Santana smiled fondly at her. "Sure, Britt. You know, I think we should Sort all our friends. Kurt, you're totally a Gryffindor. And Dave's a Ravenclaw. I don't know how you got two years ahead in math but I applaud your apparent genius."

"You're taking getting kicked out pretty well," Dave said. Apparently the novelty of the flickering fake candelabras had worn off.

"Actually, I still feel like shit." Santana sighed. "I'm so used to suppressing my emotions that it just sort of comes naturally. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that would make me feel permanently better is if you two started making out right now. Not that I want to see it!" Santana held her hands up and looked away. "I just hate having to watch two idiots like you be so damn close to getting together and just not doing it."

Kurt resumed the third-boob-on-forehead look from earlier. "Santana."

Brittany backed her up. "I agree with her. I think you guys would be cute together." Santana nodded in agreement.

"I don't think guilting us into kissing is going to make us get together," Dave said, almost pleading Santana to stop.

"Come on, just _one little kiss_?"

"Don't think so. 'One little kiss' was what started all this crap in the first place."

Santana's eyes looked wide enough to pop out of her head. "You mean you've kissed before _Born This Way_?"

"Shit-"

"Yes, we have," Kurt answered. "Can we not talk about it?"

"_I think we need to talk about it_," Santana urged.

"If I kiss him, will you drop it?"

Santana shrugged. "Sure." She smirked. "For now, at least."

"You have yourself a deal." He turned to face Dave.

"Um. What?"

"Come on, this isn't the first time we've done this."

"It's the first time we've done this _in front of people_."

"Get on with it!" Santana sighed dramatically. "I want to make good use of this bed sometime soon so kiss and get out."

Kurt fisted his hands in Dave's shirt and pulled him down, locking their lips together in a deeper kiss than he'd meant to go for. Dave's arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer, and they went deeper and deeper until-

"Whoa, keep it in your pants. I've seen more dicks in my life than I ever needed to see and I don't want to add yours to that list."

Kurt and Dave almost jumped apart. Dave almost regretted that he was Kurt's ride home, or he would have run out in embarrassment. "We'll just… get going now. Uh. Have fun?"

Santana waved her fingers at them. "We will. Good luck, lover-boys."

Kurt followed Dave out, mumbling, "_Such_ a Slytherin."

000

"Well. That was… interesting," Kurt said as soon as they were in the car.

Dave stared at him and sighed. "Look, Kurt. I'll wait for you forever if that's what it takes. I'm lucky enough that I found the perfect person for me on my first try. But I don't know how much longer I can take… whatever this is, with the whole 'we're just friends who kiss a lot at random times and don't date anyone else and really like each other' thing." He leaned forward and rested his head on the steering wheel. "I used to think I'd do anything just to kiss you for a second, and now that I have a _lot_ of seconds, more seconds than I could have ever dreamed of, it just hurts more than you hating me ever did."

Kurt was silent for a few moments, staring at his hands. He didn't know what to say.

"I know I deserve to be hurt a thousand times more than I have been, after what I did to you. I _know_ that, and I'm not trying to get out of it. I just know that you're _not_ trying to hurt me, and I think it's hurting you, too."

"You have _more_ than made up for what your fear forced you to do to me. I never knew it was hurting you. You always seemed so happy."

"Because I thought it was going somewhere!" He lifted his head back up and faced Kurt. "I don't just _like_ you or just have a crush on you, okay? I'm not just _crazy for you_. I _love_ you. And if you know you're never going to love me back, I can take that, but I need you to tell me. I need you to tell me so I can stop waiting for this to happen and I can just get _over_ you and move on."

Kurt's hands shook. _He really does love me_. "I told you it's going to happen." He tried to sty calm, but the words came out with force.

"When, Kurt?" Dave sounded choked-up. "When is it going to happen? Because this has been going on for weeks now and I'm still no closer to actually being your boyfriend than I was when it started."

Kurt bit his lip and looked down. "I don't know. I'm trying, Dave. I just don't know if I'm ready for another boyfriend yet."

"I promise you I won't be like Blaine. I won't get bored of you. I'm fascinated by you constantly, and I notice something new about you every day. I could _never_ get bored of you. And I'll do anything you want me to do. I'll come out. I'll hold your hand in the halls, I'll take you to Prom and dance with you, I'll - fuck it - I'll kiss you in the halls if that's what you want. I admit it, I'm desperate. I don't deserve anything from you but a nice kick in the balls but that doesn't stop me from _wanting_ you."

"You do _not_ deserve a kick in the balls. You know, Mercedes told me something, and it was really what made me forgive you." Kurt couldn't stop himself from yelling. "I told her I didn't think I could forgive you because I couldn't forget what you did, and she told me that I don't need to forget, but there's no reason why I shouldn't forgive you and trust you, because yeah, _Karofsky_ bullied me, but _Dave_ never will. You were always 'Karofsky' to me when you bullied me, but now you're 'Dave'. Now I trust you. Now you're my _friend_. You were a completely different person back then. You weren't yourself. This is the real you, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for what you've already fixed. When you get that through your head and stop treating yourself like complete and utter horse crap, I will go out with you. Until then, I promise I won't put my lips anywhere near yours again, no matter how much Santana or anybody else bothers me. Okay?"

Dave leaned back and let out a long breath. "Thank you. I needed that."

"What?"

"I needed to be yelled at. Everyone feels bad for me and I'm sick of it. I just wanted someone to yell at me and you're the only one who does it. Even Santana doesn't bitch at me like she does to everyone else. She thinks I'm fragile."

"I understand you better than they do. I don't even mean to yell at you, it just happens because I think at some level I know you need it."

They sat in an understanding silence for a while before Dave started the car.

"You shouldn't drive while you're emotionally compromised," Kurt warned.

"I have precious cargo. I wouldn't drive with you in the car if I didn't think I could handle it."

Kurt smiled to himself. "If only you would treat yourself with the same care."

000

Brittany rolled over onto her stomach. "No more, Santana, I'm tired. Later." She yawned to emphasize her statement.

"Fine." Santana stretched out on her side and pulled Brittany close. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up in a few hours."

"How will you wake me up? You know how hard it is."

"Let's just say I'll be having a very intimate conversation with Virginia."

Brittany swatted at her face half-heartedly, laughing lightly. "I can't believe you named it that."

Santana buried her face in Brittany's hair. "You liked it."

"Hmm. Yeah. But how am I supposed to sleep now?"

"Does that mean-?" She started moving her hands lower.

Brittany pushed her away. "_Tanaaaaa_… Three times is enough for now."

"Fine." She pouted slightly, then obediently put her hands on Brittany's bare back, rubbing softly.

"Tana?" Brittany asked quietly. "Do you think Dave and Kurt love each other?"

"I think Dave loves Kurt. And I think Kurt _will_ love Dave."

"When?"

"Soon. If it'll happen, it'll be soon. Now go to sleep."


	18. Chapter 18

As soon as Kurt walked into his house, he started freaking out.

"_Finn_! Where are you, you complete dork?"

Said dork came running down the stairs, smacking into the wall at the turn and nearly falling the rest of the way. "What's wrong?"

"_I am freaking out_."

"What happened? Did Santana hurt you?"

Kurt glared at him. "Like she would ever come near me. She _did_ tell me to kiss Dave, though."

"…And you're freaking out about this, _why_?"

"Because somehow things get screwed up completely every time I fall in love with someone, and _I am falling in love with him way too soon_. I thought I got over that habit, but apparently not."

"Well, I guess you can be happy that it started out screwed up, and it can only get normal from here."

Kurt glared at him.

"I'm just trying to help! Look, it's not like you've been chasing him for months and then he fucked things up. He's been after you for forever and _you're_ the one who screwed it up!" Finn smiled as if he had said something incredibly intelligent. Kurt shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from punching him.

"You. Are. Terribly. _Un_helpful."

"That's a _good thing_! He's crazy about you, and considering he still hates himself he'll think he deserves whatever you did wrong - which you still haven't explained to me - and so it's like you didn't even do anything."

Kurt's legs gave out and he slid to the floor in frustration. "That would be taking advantage of him. I basically told him it's his fault I'm not dating him."

"Wait, I thought this was some big deal because you _did_ start dating him."

"No! I would have started with that! I told him that I'm not dating him until he starts to love himself, which is true, but I feel like I made it sound terrible."

"How'd he take it?"

"He said it was what he needed to hear. But he'll probably think about it and realize that I was a complete _ass_-"

"Kurt. Shut up for five seconds." He waited a moment to make sure Kurt complied. "You're being an idiot. Dave's not _you_. He doesn't second-guess everything. He's impulsive. He does shit the second he thinks about it. That's what playing a sport teaches you. While you're off the field, you think about what could happen and think of all the possibilities and pick the best one. While you're on the field, you do the first thing that comes to mind. He only thinks about things later if they felt wrong, which is why he feels like shit for bullying you. That never felt right to him. But if what you said felt right then, then he's not going to think twice on it."

"…Are you done?"

"Yeah."

"When the hell did _you_ grow a brain? That was _brilliant_."

"I don't know. I think I first noticed I was smart when I decided to dance with you at our parents' wedding. So are you done freaking out? I have to go back to my plan for getting Rachel back."

Kurt nodded. "I'm done. For now, at least."

"Great!" Finn ran back up the stairs.

000

Monday morning brought four extremely sleepy Gleeks, ten moderately tired ones, and an unexpectedly awake Mr. Schue. It also brought one of the most incredible confrontations McKinley High had ever seen.

When Santana first walked in, holding hands with Brittany, every head turned towards them, and every voice went silent. She turned to Kurt, on her other side, and said, "I told you everyone would find out." Immediately after, she was approached by every non-Glee member of the football team, each holding two slushies.

Kurt had expected this and yanked the plastic floor-cover he'd used when painting Santana's room out of his bag. He tossed it over the three of them just before the colorful ice started to fly.

As soon as the slushie shower ended, there was shouting and the sounds of running, followed but what sounded like a small waterfall. Kurt shook the plastic slightly and peered through. He could just barely make out what looked like tie-dye cheerleading uniforms.

"Nice job, Queerios!" Coach Sylvester's voice boomed from her megaphone. "Teen gays, you may now proceed to class without fear of violence."

Kurt could have cried of gratitude. From the shaking body next to him, he suspected Santana was crying already. Some of the 'Queerios' lifted the front of the sticky plastic and pulled it over their heads, careful not to get any slushie on them. Their uniforms really were just tie-dye versions of the regular Cheerio ones. Most of them held buckets, and a huge puddle of water and ice was spreading across the hall with the slushies.

Becky came up to Santana and shoved a box of tissues in front of her. "Wipe your face, you look like you ran into a wall."

Santana laughed and grabbed the box. Brittany pulled out a few tissues and started wiping at Santana's tears.

"Come on now, you can have your PDA in class," Sue shouted. "Get a move on!"

000

Santana and Kurt had at least one Cheerio - or, rather, a Queerio - in every one of their classes, and each one had a fresh slushie sitting on her desk and the approval of Coach Sylvester to use it on anyone who dared come near either of them with ill intentions. They were escorted between classes by no less than three Queerios each. Kurt tired of it by the break between second and third period, but he kept up a façade of smiles so they'd keep protecting Santana. Brittany didn't have the same protection, simply because they knew no one would go near her. It was just one of those unspoken rules between the bullies - _give Kurt time to take off his designer shit before tossing him in the dumpster, go in groups whenever possible, watch out for Puck the Bodyguard, and don't touch Brittany_.

They finally let off after dropping off Kurt and Santana at Glee practice. Kurt immediately pulled out the music he'd printed out the night before. "Mr. Schue, if I may?"

"Go ahead."

Kurt started to hand the sheets out to everyone. "This song was on the Beatles mix I made earlier this year, I assume you all know the song well enough to sing at least the chorus with me. I need Santana and Dave on the first and third verses respectively, is that okay? I'll do the second and fourth- Quinn, why are you getting up? I didn't call you."

"I'd like to take the fourth verse…if that's okay with you."

"Um. There was a point to calling these specific people."

"I know." She twisted her hands in her skirt. "I fit that category of people."

Kurt shook his head. "Quinn, if I were to have every queer person sing a verse we'd have half the club and not enough verses to go around. I'm just asking for-"

"The gays. I know."

For a tense moment, Kurt stared at Quinn, unsure if he'd heard her correctly. Then his eyes drifted to the rest of the club, immediately drawn to the shocked faces that Finn and Puck were making at each other. "Yeah. Yeah, it's fine with me."

They all sat down on stools, left to right in the order they would sing. Kurt held out his hands to Dave and Santana. They held his hands, and Dave extended his other one to Quinn, who grabbed it and held on tightly. Kurt nodded to the band and they started to play. Santana began:

_Here I stand head in hand_

_Turn my face to the wall_

_If she's gone I can't go on_

_Feelin' two-foot small_

As her part dictated, she spun on the stool to face the back wall and put her head in her hands before Kurt started to sing.

_Everywhere people stare_

_Each and every day_

_I can see them laugh at me_

_And I hear them say_

Kurt imitated Santana's earlier movement while the rest of the club sang the chorus.

_Hey, you've got to hide your love away_

_Hey, you've got to hide your love away_

Dave's voice broke on his verse, and Kurt realized belatedly that giving Dave the most depressing verse was probably not one of his best ideas.

_How can I even try_

_I can never win_

_Hearing them, seeing them_

_In the state I'm in_

Dave followed Santana and Kurt's example, turning around and hunching forward slightly.

Normally Quinn kept her feelings only in her expressions, and kept her voice calm, but her desperation showed through her voice for once.

_How could she say to me_

_Love will find a way_

_Gather round all you clowns_

_Let me hear you say_

She turned around like the other three and they stayed that way until the rest of the group finished the repeated chorus.

_Hey you've got to hide your love away_

_Hey you've got to hide your love away_

Dave put his arm around Quinn, pulling her in. She leaned into him and whispered into his chest, "I can see why Kurt likes you. You're like a giant teddy bear."

Dave let out a short laugh. "He said that, once."


	19. Chapter 19

Tuesday brought the Queerios continuing to escort Santana and Kurt between classes. That is, until Santana was pulled out of class by Paul Karofsky. Neither she nor Brittany was seen for the rest of the school day.

Kurt called Brittany as soon as school let out, and found out that Santana's parents had given up all legal connections to her. Apparently they'd known about Santana's sexual orientation for a long time, and hoped that when they got rid of her, they left her with nothing. They didn't count on her friends caring so much about her, or that she would take every one of her legal documents that she could find before she left.

The Pierces were frantically trying to claim guardianship of Santana. Kurt didn't understand any of the legal stuff, so he just let them be.

000

Glee was a somewhat melancholy hour. Not only were two of their members absent, but Mr. Schue started off the meeting announcing that whoever was in charge of the Show Choir Rules had decided there would be no more original songs to be performed at competitions. Rachel, who had been quite prolific in her songwriting the past few months, was outraged.

"They can't just stifle our talent and creativity like that! It's not fair! I'm going to send them a very strongly-worded letter about this."

"Their reasoning was that it gave some choirs an unfair advantage."

"That's bullshit!" Puck yelled.

"Puck's right," Kurt said, much more calmly. "Aural Intensity was just…sad, and Blaine's voice does not go well with mine at all. We were a little too preoccupied with our new relationship to notice. New Directions would have been the obvious winner, with or without original songs."

"Despite that, we have to do covers," Mr. Schue continued. "We have to do either a mash-up of three songs with at least three different leads, or two separate songs, one as a solo, and one as a group. Before Kurt left, I had planned to give him a solo at Sectionals. Is everyone okay with me moving that to Nationals?"

Rachel almost started to say something, but stopped when everyone glared at her. She sighed. "I guess if Kurt wants it…"

"I do," Kurt said. "I'll start looking for songs this weekend. I think we should go with doing two songs by the same artist again. Does anyone have any ideas for artists we should use?"

"Santana!" Tina shouted.

"I know you did a great job with it, but I don't know if I can pull that off-"

"No-" she pointed at the door. Santana stood there, seemingly out of breath.

Brittany walked up slowly behind her. "There was no reason to run, Tana," she said, putting her arms around Santana's waist. "I won't let anyone hurt you again."

"Didn't wanna be too late," Santana replied. "So I hear Freddie's finally getting a solo?"

"That's not an unoriginal nickname at _all_," Kurt replied. "And yes."

"Good news all around then!"

"Good? You have good news?"

Santana shrugged and sat down next to him. Brittany took the next seat over. "Good for me. The Pierces can totally claim me. I never have to see my parents again unless I want to sue them, which I don't. This is Ohio. I know I'll lose once my parents say the word 'lesbian'. We should do Coldplay."

"I'm happy for you, Santana."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously. Coldplay. You could totally do the high-pitched stuff. Is everyone else good with that?"

"Don't take this the wrong way," Puck said, "because I mean it literally. Coldplay is _really gay_."

Kurt just smiled at him. "Perfect. I'll pick a few songs tonight."

"We've also been asked to be the musical entertainment for Junior Prom to save money," Schue announced. "You're in charge of picking your own songs and groups, but everyone has to do at least five and we need to fill four hours all together. Make sure your song choices are appropriate and you have enough time to spend with your dates."

"And you expect us to just agree to it?" Santana asked, annoyed.

"You get in for free. That's like being paid eighty dollars to sing a couple songs."

Puck nearly jumped out of his seat. "I'll do it!"

000

Wednesday brought what Kurt would forever after refer to as The Big Bisexual Freakout.

First, he was awakened a half hour earlier than normal to a call from Rachel. He, in his still-half-asleep state, couldn't sort out the first minute or so of super-fast freaked out whispering, but when Rachel said something that sounded like _and then Quinn's fingers were inside me_- well. He was paying attention.

"Rachel. Rachel. _Rachel, shut up_." She shut up. "Please call Santana or Brittany or something - or, hell, call Quinn, since it's about her - but please do not ever try to involve me in your lesbian-sex-dream-related insanity. Please."

"_Sorry, I just didn't know who to call_-"

"You know two lesbians and a bicurious girl, and you're calling your gay male friend to talk about this. You're a smart girl, Rachel; you figure out what the problem is here."

"_Sorry. I just… Sorry. I'll call- oh, I don't know! I don't want to talk to any of them about it._"

"Call Brittany and tell her to make sure Santana's not listening. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"_Yeah. Sorry. Bye._"

Then, Finn started acting weird. Really weird. He came into Kurt's room during his morning moisturizing routine and just stood in the doorway watching him. Kurt pretended not to notice until Finn had been standing there for about five minutes, completely unmoving. "What is it, Finn?"

"Do you think I'm bisexual?"

"Um." Well. That was unexpected. _Is Glee turning everybody queer?_ "I don't know. Mercedes and Quinn seem to think so."

"Oh. Okay. 'Cause I think I might be."

"Okay. Is that an 'I'm bisexual' or an 'I'm questioning'?"

"Uh. The second one."

"Well, let me know when you've figured it out." He smiled at Finn and returned to his moisturizing.

"Yeah, uh, I was kinda hoping you could help me with that."

"How? I'm sure you know how to work Google without safe search."

Finn looked extremely uncomfortable. "You could kiss me…"

"What do you think I am, and all-you-can-gay restaurant?" He slammed down a bottle more harshly than intended.

"No! I just thought you might want to help me."

Kurt ran his fingers through his hair, then pulled his head down and rested his elbows on the table. He didn't respond, but he looked up when he saw Finn's feet next to his chair.

Finn kneeled on the ground, and Kurt was momentarily annoyed that Finn was _still _taller. "If you don't want this," Finn said, "you need to let me know." He waited a moment, then, when Kurt didn't respond, he leaned down and pressed his lips softly against Kurt's. For a few moments, he just stayed there, unmoving. Then, then brought one hand up and pushed his fingers into Kurt's hair and tilted his head just a tiny bit and Kurt's eyes fluttered shut. He leaned forward and gripped Finn's shoulders as hard as he could, pulling him in-

And Finn pulled away. "Yup. Definitely bisexual." He pecked Kurt's lips once more, then stood up, grinned, and left. He stopped in the doorway for a moment to say "I still think you and Dave should be dating, and I'm still going after Rachel. But if I can't get Rachel, I might need some help finding a guy."

Kurt sat there, stunned, for a minute, trying to rationalize his reaction. _It's just because he's a guy and a really good kisser. That sounds about right. I'm over him. It's okay. Breathe, Kurt. _He grabbed his phone and shot off a text to Quinn:

_Do you think 'Eats, Shoots, and Leaves' is an accurate description of Finn?_

The reply came a few minutes later.

_Yes. You're not the first to think that and you won't be the last. _

000

Finn and Rachel didn't actually get back together until Friday. It wasn't much of a shock; their relationship was pretty much built on let's-get-together-someone-fucked-up-let's-break-up-I-forgive-you-let's-get-back-together-again-et-cetera.

Well. Except for Quinn. She was pretty shocked. Shocked enough, in fact, that when she saw Finn and Rachel walking down the halls, hand-in-hand, before lunch, she ran into the nearest girls' room and skipped both lunch and AP English Lang, which she shared with Rachel.

Quinn _never_ skipped class.

Kurt didn't find out about this until Glee started - which was _really_ dumb on Quinn's part; she should have let him know, he had study hall during the period that she skipped - and was therefore extremely delayed on providing comfort to Quinn.

"Let's get you a haircut," Santana suggested. "Something completely new and unexpected and really, really hot so Rachel can't resist you."

"I have _just_ the look!" Kurt clapped his hands together excitedly.

"Aren't you supposed to be on Finn's side? He's your brother."

Kurt made a face. "Step-brother. And they'll just break up in a few weeks anyways, with or without us making Quinn look more irresistible than she already does. So, what do you say to the haircut?"

Quinn ran her fingers through her hair and snuck a glance at Rachel. "…What do you have in mind?"


	20. Chapter 20

Thank you to all reviewers, old and new - the new being ilovesmesomeglee, krynny, and especially slytherine. princesss for giving me one of my favorite reviews of all time.

000

It didn't really hit Kurt that he had ulterior motives for breaking up Rachel and Finn until he was sitting in the hair salon with Santana and Brittany, waiting for Quinn to finish her haircut.

It wasn't like Kurt wanted Finn to himself. No, he'd gotten over Finn long ago, and he was quite firmly planted in his feelings for Dave. He just knew that if it ever came up in conversation, Finn would most definitely come out to Rachel and, while that wouldn't be a _bad_ thing, Rachel would probably go insane with helping him come out to everyone. Rachel was well-meaning and obviously knowledgeable, but Finn didn't think it was a big deal, so it really _shouldn't_ be.

He could find Finn a boyfriend in five seconds flat; he already had a list of Dalton boys - _not_ Blaine - who would be totally fine with 'trying things out' until Finn wanted to tell anyone else. So it wasn't like Finn would be completely loveless without Rachel. And then Quinn and Rachel could live happily ever after, and Kurt was _so_ fond of happily ever afters.

Which brought him back to his own real-life fairytale. He planned to bring Dave with him to Dalton on Saturday, which would either end very well or terribly. It wasn't until he and Dave were standing at the main entrance to Blaine's dorm building - the oldest and most ornate of three - that he realized the consequences of _terribly_.

Dave could walk out. Not too bad.

Dave could get angry. Kind of unpleasant.

Dave could hit Blaine. Not good at all.

Blaine could say he didn't approve of Dave, which would probably result in some sort of "Well, I don't approve of your face, let me _rearrange it for you_" and then do something that would end with him getting arrested, which would be really. really. bad.

Blaine came out to get them just as Kurt got ready to turn and run away. _Bad idea bad idea abort abort abort-_

"Kurt! Dave!" Blaine threw his arms around Kurt in a hug, then did that awkward hand-grab-slap-on-back thing with Dave. Kurt found it extremely amusing. It did nothing to ease the growing feeling of nausea.

"I'm not allowed to leave school grounds, but there's a couple restaurants within the gates if you're hungry."

"Why can't you leave?" Dave asked.

"Kurt didn't tell you?"

Kurt crossed his arms. "Unlike some people,_ I _prefer to keep other people's secrets to myself."

"Right. Well. I slept with a teacher and got caught. And then about half of the students I slept with 'fessed up, which is still a good deal more than the anti-promiscuity rules allow."

Dave shifted awkwardly. "I'm not sure whether to say 'that sucks' or 'congrats on the sex'."

"I'll respond to both. I know, and thanks. Are you guys hungry or not?"

000

They ended up at Vitality, a little sandwich shop that Blaine described as "the best damn student-run place you'll ever eat at." After the cashier awkwardly looked everywhere but at Blaine while taking their orders and one of the other patrons tripped over his own feet at the sight of him and nearly slammed into their table, they decided to move outside. Kurt absolutely refused to sit on the ground, so he took up a bench while Dave and Blaine sat under a tree in front of him.

"What was that about?" Kurt wondered aloud. "Surely a one-night stand won't leave them falling all over you - literally."

Blaine shrugged. "Apparently I'm the best lay they've ever had. I don't get it, but I appreciate the sentiment." At Kurt's glare, he quickly added, "I'm not trying to proposition you or anything! I'm just being honest. I know it wouldn't work even if I _was_ trying to-"

"You should stop talking now." Kurt glared harder.

Blaine's eyes traveled to Dave. "He doesn't know?"

"Why would I tell him?" Kurt was pissed.

"It's sort of something he should be aware of."

"No! No one needs to be 'aware' of it. It's my business, no one else's."

"I feel like I'm missing something," Dave interrupted.

"It's nothing important." Kurt crossed his arms and leaned back, ignoring his friends and the half of a sandwich that sat on the bench next to him.

"Listen, Kurt," Blaine pleaded, "I'm sorry I got you involved in this. I know you're not comfortable with it-" he ignored Kurt's deadly look and pressed on "-and I shouldn't have done it, but I don't want to lose your friendship. I'm trying, okay?"

Kurt sighed. "I know. I guess it just kind of hurt that as soon as I broke up with you, you got the one thing I wouldn't give you from… well… everyone else."

"I thought it would make me miss you less. I was wrong. It made me feel worse."

"And now you're addicted."

Blaine nodded. "It's a shame they don't teach us about sex addiction in school. It really is just as bad as drugs."

"Hold on." Dave scrunched up his eyebrows. "You fucked every guy who asked because Kurt wouldn't do you? That's messed up."

"So, you're okay with it?" Kurt asked.

"Okay with what? That you're a virgin? I am, too, dude. I don't care."

"No, I mean my… phobia."

"Phobia?"

"Sex-phobia."

Dave's eyes widened. "Oh. Um. Sure." He looked like he had just found out the world would explode within the hour. Blaine suddenly became extremely interested in his sandwich.

Kurt drew his legs up onto the bench and rested his head on his knees. "That's a no… I'm hoping I'll get over it eventually, but right now I'm kind of disgusted by …_it_."

"I swear, it's okay! Why wouldn't it be?"

"Don't be stupid. As effeminate as I may be, I'm still a _boy_. I know how boys think."

Dave groaned and laid back on the ground, throwing an arm over his face. "I've fucked up everything, haven't I?"

"No, you haven't. Just be honest with me."

After a few silent and awkward minutes, Dave mumbled a response. "I don't…love you because I wanna have sex with you. I wanna have sex with you because I love you."

He didn't see Blaine smile at Kurt and mouth _'I most certainly approve if you approve,' _or Kurt smile at Dave and mouth '_Of course I do.'_

000

Later that night, Kurt spoke to Blaine over the phone before bed.

"He might be the one to cure me of this."

"_You say 'cure' like there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with not being comfortable with sex."_

"It's not that I'm not comfortable with the idea. I can… fantasize about it plenty. It's just that whenever I think of actually _doing it_, I start to feel sick."

"_You're not ready, and that's fine. But if you insist you'll be ready for him, who am I to argue?"_

"I feel bad."

"_Don't let guilt make you do something you're not ready for."_

"I mean I feel bad for Dave. I feel like I'm leading him on."

"…_Are you?"_

"No. I do like him, a _lot_. I know I'm falling for him way faster than I should, and even though it scares me because I _always_ fall too fast, I feel like this time it'll really go somewhere. I _want_ it to go somewhere. But that doesn't make me feel any better about dragging it out for this long."

"_You'll be ready when you're ready. Whether it's sex, or dating Dave, or whatever. You can't force these things. You don't want to end up like me, do you?"_ Blaine laughed honestly. Kurt considered it a good sign that he could joke about his addiction.

"I remember why I fell in love with you. You're honest with me. You tell me what you believe to be true, even if it's not what I want to hear."

"_I've had my fair share of lies, Kurt. Don't put me back on a pedestal."_

"Oh, please. You're hardly a statue of virtue _now_. Though if we're talking Greek statues, I hear the Ancient Greek gods tended to sleep around, so maybe a pedestal is a good place for you."

000

As he had promised, Kurt showed up at Quinn's house promptly at six-thirty A.M. on Monday to help her pick an outfit for her new hairstyle. After checking out her collection of clothing briefly Sunday night, he had concluded she had absolutely nothing that would have any effect whatsoever on Rachel, and insisted on finding something new.

"You _do_ realize dressing like a hooker won't impress Rachel, right?" Quinn asked, eyeing the black paper shopping bags that Kurt dropped on her bed.

"What do you take me for? I would _never_ dress you like that!" Kurt pulled a couple items out of a shopping bag and laid them out on Quinn's bed.

"You dressed her like that, once. Finn told me. Wow, this is really nice."

"Of _course_ they're nice, I picked them out. Now go change. I will _not_ allow you outside of the house in your usual too-innocent-for-you clothing with that fabulous of a hairstyle."

While Quinn changed in the bathroom, he shouted through the door, "Did you like it when Rachel came in to school dressed as a hooker? I wasn't responsible for that one."

There was no response from inside the bathroom. From downstairs, Judy responded, "She wouldn't shut up all afternoon that day!

000

_"All nominations for Junior Prom King and Queen must be sent in by Wednesday. You may not put up posters until you are nominated."_

Puck and Lauren were running together, as were Santana and Dave. Sam and Quinn were running alone, and Kurt had been dragged into it when Santana nominated him. A few other couples had also chosen to run. Oddly enough, 'Santofsky,' as they had dubbed themselves, were winning (according to mckinleyjewfro . com / promstats . html ), despite Santana's outing and the fact that they were quite obviously no longer dating.

Kurt and Quinn spent the hour before class putting up posters. Kurt's rationale for it was that even though he didn't want to run, he should at least make the most of it.

They overheard whispering in the choir room as they passed by.

"That sounds like Santana," Quinn whispered. They looked in the window, and saw Santana and Dave having a hushed argument. She opened the door slightly to hear them better, and saw Santana was waving around a stack of posters with her and Dave on them.

"You promised! It's been a week and you haven't gone through with it yet!"

"I told Z."

"You promised you would tell _everyone_."

"And I'm going to! Just not yet."

"When?"

Dave took a deep breath, but before he answered, he noticed Quinn and Kurt spying on them.

They ran.


	21. Chapter 21

Rachel didn't even seem to notice what Quinn was wearing, though everyone else did, as evidenced by the whistles and dirty comments that Quinn ignored. She turned down Kurt's offer to help her pick out a whole new wardrobe, with the reasoning that she didn't want him to buy her anything and, until her parents' divorce was finalized, she wouldn't have enough money to pay for it herself.

Kurt had half a mind to go up to Rachel and slap her, especially when she started talking about her New York dreams at the lunch table. Finn said he didn't plan to follow her to New York, because it just wasn't his thing, and Rachel looked a bit put-out by that but quickly covered it up by insisting she could change his mind. Quinn wrote something on a slip of paper and pushed it over to Kurt.

_I'd follow her to New York. I'd go right now if she asked me to._

Kurt smiled sadly at her and put a comforting arm around her waist under the table. She leaned over and whispered into his ear. "Thanks. I don't know why you're doing this or how you can put up with me, but thanks. For everything."

"I'm doing it because I know if I felt how you do about someone, I wouldn't be able to take it as well as you have," he whispered back. He caught Rachel's eye as he moved away from Quinn. Rachel mouthed _we'll talk_ at him, then turned back to Finn.

000

Rachel grabbed him after school, just as he was closing his locker and leaving for Glee. "I need to talk to you about Quinn."

Kurt nodded. If Rachel wanted to risk missing out on Glee time only weeks before Nationals - and on the day they were supposed to start practicing their songs, no less - then there was obviously a good reason for it.

They went into the girls' bathroom. Before she could start talking, Kurt fished out Quinn's note from his pocket and handed it to her. "Quinn gave me that when you were talking about New York at lunch today."

Rachel quickly read the note and sighed. "I was going to say the reason I'm not doing anything with Quinn is because I'm not sure she's serious about this-"

"Did you miss the day she came out during Glee?"

"-because she's never really cared for me before-"

"Beg to differ. She's always been a little bit too invested in your emotional well-being."

"-but I guess this changes things." She glared at him for his interruptions, but then her eyes softened as she looked back at the note. "Do you really think she'd come with me?"

"There's no question. Even if she doesn't love you, and I think she does, she'll follow you wherever you go. She knows she can live her life anywhere. Lima will always be home for Finn."

Rachel nodded and tucked the note into a pocket in her skirt. "Well, let's get back."

"Oh, Rachel?"

"Hm?" She turned her head to look at him from the doorway.

"She's going to Junior Prom with Artie. I'd say, wait until after that to break up with Finn. You can always go with Quinn to Prom next year."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I don't think either of you are ready for this. But please do let Finn know this is the last date, I'd rather not go through another one of his post-breakup Xbox marathons. They're very loud and the explosions never match the beat of whatever I'm listening to."

"Will do. And Good job on Quinn's outfit."

"How did you-"

"It pretty much has Kurt written all over it. I didn't want to say anything because Finn's been around me all day, but please tell her I think she looks… very attractive in it."

"_Very attractive_? That's all you've got?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I was thinking more along the lines of _doable_ but I thought that might be a little lewd."

000

The first thing Kurt registered while walking into school Tuesday morning was "Oh my God. Kurt, get _out_ of here." Santana took him by the shoulders and tried to steer him out the way he came.

"Why?"

"Just trust me. Didn't you get my text?"

"No. Trust _you_?" Kurt glanced to the side and caught a glance at one of his Prom King posters. Or, rather, Prom _Queen_, as they had been Sharpie'd over to say.

Kurt felt like his heart had stopped. He pushed Santana lightly off of him and walked over to the poster, without consciously making the choice to move. He unstuck the poster from the wall and stared at it in his hands.

"Are they all like this?"

Santana's silence spoke volumes.

But he didn't cry like he thought he would. No drops splattered onto and ran down the glossy page. He nodded, and stuck the poster back onto the wall before turning back to Santana.

"Well, I was planning to wear a kilt anyway. Now I'll look the part if I win." He walked past her and headed to his locker, head held high.

Santana watched, shocked. _If something like that ever happened to me, I'd never show my face again. He's brave. _

Kurt entered his first class with his usual air of I-don't-care-what-you-think-as-long-as-it's-about-me. When the class snickered at him with murmurs of 'he even looks like a drag queen, he's wearing a fucking dress today', he looked at them calmly and asked, "Did I miss a joke? Or are you all just laughing at your own ignorance?" They continued to laugh as he sat down. _Let them laugh. They'll all work for me one day._

Later, when he found his locker filled to the brim with glitter and feathers, he decided he wouldn't even give them the benefit of being hired. He was not willing to pay such cruel, judgmental people - if he could even call them people.

000

During lunch, Kurt intercepted Dave walking towards the caf. He slipped his arm around Dave's and pulled him back into the other direction until they were in the choir room.

"So when were you going to tell me that you came out to Azimio?"

"I _knew_ that was you. I was going to tell you at lunch."

"What happened?"

Dave sighed. "He took it pretty well, I guess." Kurt raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Well… At first he just looked at me like I was crazy and asked if joining Glee made me gay. I tried to explain to him that I've always been gay but he just ignored me and walked away. Then he found me again later and said it was gonna take him a while to get used to it, and he was gonna stay away from me for a while so he doesn't say something stupid. And before you start, 'cause I know you don't believe that, I've known Z since I was five, and I can tell when he's lying. He's not okay with it yet, but he doesn't want to fuck up our friendship, which I really appreciate. It could be a hell of a lot worse. He could've told someone, but he didn't. I trust him."

Kurt bit his lip. "I used to think you didn't have any real friends here, but… I guess I was wrong, huh?"

Dave's eyes widened comically. "Did Kurt Hummel just admit to being _wrong_? Someone check the skies for pigs!"

Kurt punched him in the arm. "Shut up."

000

"Let me guess, _Viva La Vida_ and _Fix You_?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck. "No. We'd sound great, but it's too obvious. I've chosen _What If_ as my solo, and I think we should do a mash-up for the group number, but I don't know what would go well with _Clocks_."

"You've listened to all their songs?" Tina asked.

"Multiple times. Does anyone have any ideas?"

"_Green Eyes_?"

"I thought about that one, but it didn't work."

"_Speed of Sound_?"

"Maybe, but considering I confuse it with _Clocks_ a lot I don't think that's a great idea."

"_Life in Tecnicolor_?"

"I didn't consider that because half of it is instrumental."

"We could sing _Clocks_ during the instrumental part," Rachel suggested.

"I never thought of that."

"That would sound pretty dope," Puck said. "You know. For Coldplay."

"Just you wait," Kurt said, opening up his laptop to a music editor, "a week from now you'll be wishing you suggested it."

000

By the time Kurt got home, he was placing first as Prom Queen, beating Santana by almost twenty percent.

He briefly considered going in full drag. It wasn't as if he'd never done it before; he'd just never left the house like that. It shouldn't be that hard, and he figured he could even find his enormous home-made butterfly wings if he looked hard enough in the attic. He dropped the idea, however, when he realized some of his classmates would literally rip him apart, wings and all.

But he was still wearing that kilt. He was almost finished with it already, he wasn't about to switch ideas this late.

000

Santana and Dave had English at the same time. Different classes, obviously, as Santana took Honors and Dave didn't, but the classrooms were still right next to each other.

It just so happened that they were both given equally unsettling essay prompts on the same day. Santana, whose class had just finished _The Picture of Dorian Gray_, was given the prompt "_Write about something you felt you had to hide that was shared without your consent._" Dave, whose class was about to start _Henry V_, was given the simple task, "_Define bravery_."

Later that night, they sat in front of finished essays, despite that they weren't due for a week, and e-mailed them to each other for a second opinion. Santana's first sentence was "_I never meant to come out in high school._" Dave's first sentence was "_Kurt Hummel is the bravest person I know._"


	22. Chapter 22

Kurt and the girls went dress-shopping Thursday afternoon. It was an awkward affair; Brittany and Santana disappeared together at random intervals, Quinn avoided Rachel at all costs, and when Mercedes let slip that she had a date but refused to say who, Kurt faked offense and pretended to ignore her.

Artie, in true nerd fashion, he had already bought a light blue tux, which left Quinn with two options; the same color, or white. Since she looked stunning in both colors, it wasn't a big issue, and she found the perfect dress in the first store. Mercedes found hers there too, completely by accident.

Santana and Brittany found theirs in the second store; Santana wanted hooker red, and Brittany wanted something that would match with a tiny hat she planned to wear. They wandered off after that. No one went looking for them.

Lauren and Tina found theirs in the third store. Both of them wanted something unconventional, and considering how late they were in getting dresses, there was only one store that still had anything unconventional, but Kurt managed to find something perfect for each of them.

Rachel wanted to wear pink, and as it was nearly impossible to find a pink dress that a) wasn't a fabric cake and b) wouldn't cost her several thousand dollars, her dress was not found until the fourth and last store they tried.

When Kurt deemed everyone sufficiently fabulous and Santana and Brittany finally wandered back, he brought them all back to his house and modeled his hand-made outfit, to cheers and one fist-bump from Finn, who passed through the almost fashion show on the way to the kitchen. Rachel caught Kurt's eye and abruptly stood and followed Finn out of the room.

As Kurt turned back to the stairs, he noticed Quinn squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Without thinking, he grabbed her arm and dragged her upstairs with him.

"I'm sorry," he said once his bedroom door was closed. "Today's been hard on you, hasn't it?"

Quinn nodded. "Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone this fast?"

Kurt sighed. He sat carefully on the bed, and Quinn joined him. "I think it takes just as much passion to hate as to love, and you really seemed to hate Rachel before. I guess once you realized you didn't hate her like you thought you did, love was the only thing that could fill the void."

Quinn leaned her head on Kurt's shoulder. "Is that what happened with you and Dave?"

Kurt thought about it for a little bit. "I don't think I ever really hated him. I hated what he did to me, how he bullied me, but I always kind of pitied him. I felt bad for him because I thought he was just missing out on so many wonderful people, including myself, because he couldn't accept who they loved. And then when I found out it was all because he couldn't accept who _he_ loved, I knew how confused and scared he was, and I pitied him for that. I love him because I fell for him. But I don't think that makes my love any more or less real than yours. It just came about differently."

"So you do love him."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah. I do."

"Do you think Rachel could love me?" She tangled her fingers in Kurt's. He didn't usually like people touching his hands, but he let it go. Quinn needed it.

Kurt wondered where the helplessness had come from. He looked at her, about to ask, but she seemed to sense the question and answered it without being asked.

"I just want to be loved. Really loved. For who I am, not for who people want me to be, or who I pretend to be, or who I wish I could be. In spite of and _because of_ my mistakes and my flaws. And I think Rachel could be that person. I always felt like she knew me better than I knew myself, and she never even hated me. She saw good in me, even when I couldn't see it."

"I think," Kurt said, taking Quinn's hand in both of his own, "I think she can love you. But I think first you need to wait for her and Finn to break up before you really go after her. It's only a matter of time, and I have a feeling the conversation they're having right now will be the grand finale. And then, when they're officially through, you need to tell her what you just told me."

"I don't know if I can."

"Yes you can, Quinn. You're a strong girl, I know you are. You got through your pregnancy last year without the support of your parents. That takes a whole lot more strength than this will. You just need to turn that strength into courage."

"But I'm scared," she whispered, as if it were some dirty little secret, and for Head Bitch In Charge Quinn Fabray, it was.

"Courage isn't not being scared. It's being scared, and doing it anyways. Now help me out of this so I can put something crappy on and let you cry all over it. You need a good cry."

000

Mr. Schue handed out the set list for Prom on Friday, and then they jumped right into practicing "Clocks in Technicolor", as they decided to call their newest mash-up.

They hit their first roadblock instantly. Everyone kept missing cues, and Puck kept holding out his last note too long and cutting into Tina's first. Rachel and Finn, as usual, took lead in the chorus, and another roadblock appeared; while Finn was capable of a falsetto high enough to sing the part, he wasn't used to switching between that and his normal voice so quickly, and ended up producing some pretty painful squeaks while trying.

After the hour of first-practice torture was over, everyone rushed out, eager to avoid any insistence from Rachel that they stay an extra hour, but she didn't seem to want to stay either. Dave hung back for a few minutes.

"Hey, Mr. Schue? Can I use the stage today?"

Mr. Schue looked up from the tests he had just started grading, obviously surprised and a little confused. "Kurt and Rachel are usually the only ones that use it outside of Glee. If they're not up there, feel free."

"Thanks."

000

The auditorium was dark and a bit cold. It took Dave a few tries in the light and sound booth to find the switches for the stage lights.

Dave had wondered ever since sophomore year, when he saw Kurt sing and almost _scream_ some song he didn't recognize on that stage, whether it would really help to stand up there and sing his heart out. That curiosity had come to a point where he couldn't ignore it anymore. He just hoped no one came in. That would be embarrassing.

He found the song completely by accident while YouTubing Coldplay songs to familiarize himself with the band. "Shiver" had struck something in him almost right away, and by the chorus - _Did you want me to change?/Well I've changed for good/And I want you to know that you'll always get your way _- he knew it was his song.

He only took five minutes on the stage, just long enough to sing his song to an imaginary audience. It made him feel like an idiot at first; what good would it do to sing to the air? But after about a minute he started to let go, and it felt _good_. It felt _awesome_, actually.

The lyrics ran out too soon. Dave stared out at the audience for another half a minute before grabbing his backpack and jumping off the stage, barely remembering to shut the lights before he left.


	23. Chapter 23

So sorry for taking so long to update. I was hit with a rather nasty bit of writer's block that I'm still not quite out of, and tons of schoolwork at the same time. This is probably my shortest chapter to date, but I felt obligated to post something today.

000000

Quinn sat on Artie's lap and hooked an arm around his shoulders, smiling for her photo. It wasn't a fake smile; she liked Artie. He was really sweet, and he didn't mind that she was using him, as he was trying to catch the attention of one of the girls in his Spanish class. Quinn didn't comment that she looked a lot like Brittany. The girl had been forced to come with her cousin to avoid after-Prom shenanigans, but the cousin was behind the gym smoking God-knows-what with his friends. Artie made his way over to her as soon as Quinn stood up.

Quinn danced with Dave for a few songs, since he came alone, and then her first song came up, a repeat of "Lucky" with Sam. Most of the set list was repeats, but ten or so were ones they'd never done before, like Puck, Sam, and Artie's "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting," the first new song of the night. It was followed by a mash-up of old and new performances in "Tik Tok/Come Together," which shouldn't have worked, but Brittany and Kurt _made_ it work. Santana stole Dave from Quinn for a few minutes and made up some crazy dance moves - Quinn was pretty sure she saw Santana smack Dave's ass at least once.

Dave's solo was about halfway through prom. Quinn had suggested he sing something by Elton John, and despite his protests that he'd fuck it up, she made him do it. "Think of it as your coming-out song," she'd said. "Maybe someone will notice you're singing it to Kurt."

There was no way they hadn't noticed. Dave was intentionally obvious, and Kurt didn't exactly hide his reactions - particularly the grin at the first _you can tell everybody_ and the blush at the part about his eyes.

He _hoped_ they noticed, because he was going to come out tonight regardless, but it would be so much easier this way. It would be easier to say the words if everyone were already expecting them.

Maybe it was cowardly to do it this way - at the very least, it was probably really stupid - but it would still be an improvement from hiding in the darkest part of the biggest closet.

000

Kurt had the last song before the announcement of Prom royalty, a breathtaking - no pun intended - cover of Anna Nalick's "Breathe (2 AM)" backed up by Quinn and Santana. Dave thought Kurt was trying to avoid looking at him, but he was failing at that pretty miserably.

Figgins was supposed to be announcing the winners, but after Kurt's posters were graffitied, Coach Sylvester demanded to be in charge of it.

"Finally, a break from all this music. It's time to announce your elected monarchs - and if that isn't an oxymoron, then I don't know what is." She tore into the first blank envelope, staring at the card inside it for a few moments before speaking. "Your Prom King is Kurt Hummel."

There was loud clapping from the Glee corner, accompanied by a "Yeah!" from Finn, who pushed Kurt towards the stage. The rest of the room clapped slowly or quietly, if at all.

Sue tried to make it seem like she just dropped the oversized crown on Kurt's head, but he could tell she was doing her best not to mess up his hair. Much as she might hate Glee, that soft spot for Kurt would always be there, right next to her soft spots for her sister and Becky.

She stepped back from the mic, sensing that Kurt had something to say. He looked at her for a moment, and wondered if her eyes were shinier than usual because of the spotlights or because she was, in fact, capable of crying.

Kurt stared at his classmates. The slow clapping died down. "Well, I don't see anyone waiting to slushie me." That was met with a few nervous chuckles from the jocks in front and grins from the gleeks. "I'm still not sure if I buy this, but I'll gladly accept my crown."

He stepped back from the mic, waving Sue forwards, but stopped short when he noticed she was staring at the next card. Just staring, as if she couldn't believe it. He leaned over to look, but she flipped it closed.

"Very funny," Sue spat into the microphone. "Sue Sylvester for Prom Queen. Ha-ha." Her hands were shaking, and the card dropped and sailed through the air, doing a loop before falling at Kurt's feet. Kurt grabbed it. "Well, come on, Porcelain. Sorry to scar you for life, but you'll have to dance with me." It was then that she noticed Kurt reading the card.

And rereading it.

And again.

And once more, because he just couldn't believe it.

Kurt pulled his crown off slowly it put it back on the pillow it had previously occupied before grabbing the little gold tiara and dropping it on his head. He moved up to the mic again. "I believe I was actually elected _Queen_. Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton." He took a deep breath. "And my King is Dave Karofsky." He smiled towards the back of the room, where Quinn and Santana were dragging Dave forwards. He wasn't putting up a fight, mostly out of shock.

Sue's hands were still shaking as she crowned Dave. She dropped the crown the last half a centimeter and it fell somewhat lopsided. Dave reached up to right it before holding his arm out to Kurt.

"It's 'Dancing Queen'," Dave whispered while they walked off the little stage. "Santana told me."

Kurt sighed. "Of course it is. You don't have to dance with me, you know."

"I know. But I want to. It's the last thing on my list."

"List?"

"My coming out list." He turned to face Kurt in the middle of the gym. "I told my parents, I told Z, I sang to you in front of everyone, and now I'm gonna dance with you, ABBA or no ABBA."

He took Kurt's hands, smiling. "What happens next, happens."

And then someone who was most definitely _not_ Santana or Mercedes started singing something that was certainly not ABBA.


End file.
